Sylvanian Families Candy Wagon Product Review

We are already big, huge, ginormous fans of Sylvanian Families.

My daughter started collecting them aged 4, with Beechwood Hall.  She's now approaching aged 10 and they are still a firm favourite.  My 8 year old son enjoys playing with them too, and they create whole worlds together with shops, tree houses, the hospital, camper van - this list goes on and on.  So we were delighted to be asked to review the Sylvanian Families Candy Wagon -

My daughter swiftly went to work setting it all up.  The picture above shows the completed set in it's entirety. 

As you would expect, it has all the detail and quality you expect from a Sylvanian Families product.  Gorgeous little boxes of treats, a wagon, a stand, an abundance of vibrant lollipops and adorable little sweet dispensers.  Be warned though, this set is not for the younger Sylvanian fan as there are lots of very tiny pieces, which were a delight for a child my daughter's age.   Her favourite pieces by far were the little treat bags that come with tiny clips and you can fill with the product of your choice (pictured below). She was absolutely enchanted with them.

Once she was set up, lots of her own Sylvanian Families (the set itself does not come with any figures - these are sold separately) wanted to visit.......

She set up her Ice Cream cart, garden swing & items from the Toy Shop & Nursery (all our own, also from the Sylvanian Families range) and it wasn't long before we had a host of Sylvanian families queueing around the block for the Candy Wagon........

It really is a lovely addition to any Sylvanian collection and a perfect gift for any child.  My son, who is 8 years old, wanted to add that he would give it 5 stars out of 5 and that Sylvanian Families are perfect for both boys and girls and are something that the whole family can play with.

Information on all Sylvanian Families products can be found on http://sylvanianfamilies.net/uk/

Letterbox Lab - Product Review

We were very excited when this bevvy of Marvellous Mixtures quite literally came winging it's way through our letterbox recently from Letterbox Labs -

Before we even got started we were in love with the packaging! So neatly put together, gorgeous little corresponding bags and a super full colour instruction booklet to follow & fill in with your results.

Literally everything you need for each experiment is included - from goggles & gloves to every ingredient, even sugar & felt tip pens!  The only thing we ever needed to add was water.

My children, aged 8 and 9, both love science - the more hands on the better!  So this was absolutely perfect for our studies, but my son would have loved it just as much as a birthday present.  Infact he has asked for chemistry sets before and we've always found them disappointing as the instructions are too protracted and they usually rely heavily on you having a lot of the ingredients in your kitchen.  We loved Letterbox Lab because we could get stuck straight in.  There were clear Health & Safety instructions at the start of each experiment but they were concise and easy to follow.

We started off experimenting with Chromatography -

It worked well for us that Letterbox Lab include extra's of everything - so there is enough materials to do most experiments twice or more.

After learning about Incredible Inks through the process of Chromatography, we moved on to making Rainbow Glasses - using diffraction grating.  My daughter decided to use our own felt tip pens to make our rainbow glasses truly look like rainbow glasses!

They were very simple to make  and it was great fun viewing the world through rainbow-tinted spectacles! And learning all about light at the same time.

We then moved on to make Rainbow Spinners, further expanding our learning about inks, light and colours.  We learnt which colours are more dominant and that some colours react entirely differently to how you would expect.

Our favourite experiments were the Liquid Rainbow & the Brilliant Breathless Balloon -

As a parent and Home Educator, I loved how the experiments all build on from one another, they have open questions for your inquisitive young minds and expansion ideas if the concepts have captured their interest.  I also loved the fact you can guide the children but they are able to do all the hands on stuff themselves, which of course they love.

Both of my children loved the booklet and decided they wanted to write up the experiments and record their findings in their own folders.

There really is so much packed in to this clever little box.  It has been so well thought out and executed.  We came back to the box day after day for new activities, it kept us entertained for a long time and we still have our Squirmy Worms to do!

The lovely people at Letterbox Lab have given me a special discount offer for readers of Our Alternative Life.  Simply quote "BloggingMama" on your first subscription and you will receive 15% off.  If you opt to pay monthly you will receive 15% off your first box, if you pay quarterly you will receive 15% off your first three boxes.

Go to:-  www.letterboxlab.com to subscribe.

Smartick Method Maths Program - Product Review

We were recently given the opportunity to try the Smartick Method Maths Program.



This is an online, AI-based adaptive Math program for children ages 4 -14.  The basic premise is that the children do 15 minutes per day, aiming for at least 5 days a week - although they can do all 7 if they're really keen (trust me, they will be!)

The Smartick program is cleverly tailored to each individual's learning.  Starting out, teachers or parents register the number of users for the program.  In our case, this was DD (9) & DS (8). 

There's an initial 'getting to know you' session, set to gauge the ability of the individual child - awesome!  We loved this, as the program was truly tailored to them individually and thus they did not feel competitive with each other to achieve certain 'levels'.  They simply worked through their appropriate program at their level and pace.

Once this initial session is completed, you can start your daily sessions.  Here are some examples from some of our sessions -

Now, my kids love to do anything if it's on the computer.  Happily for me, they actually both really like Maths anyway, so this was an easy sell on my part.  They couldn't wait to get started.

The program is reward based, so it really hooks your little gamers in :-)  From the first session, they are able to create their own Avatar character at the end.  And just like the program itself, they are truly individual. 

Then, session by session, the rewards build.  The more sessions they do (no more that 1 a day, don't worry) they earn stars which then give them access to a village where they can decorate their own room, buy things for it, make friends with other children on Smartick that are linked to their user - so in this case DS & DD.  Once they are friends they can use their stars to 'buy' and send each other gifts. They can even 'buy' dressing up outfits for their Avatar and pets to look after.

After a number of sessions, the children then earn access to various games that they can play at their leisure, after each session.  Here are a couple of examples of DS's favourite ones -

Once the sessions start to build up, the children can also earn diplomas, which are downloadable, printable, personal colour certificates. 

In addition to the actual online program, the administrator (you the parent, or teacher) will receive an Email update each time each child completes a session - detailing the Learning Objectives of each session, what they have been working on and how they did.  You also receive an Email reminder if your child misses a session, but it there is no 'consequence' for missing sessions, so no pressure.

This was of vital importance to us as DS is Autistic and DD Aspergers.  While DD thrives on repetition and routine, DS can become overwhelmed easily if he feels pressured.  Happily, this program adapts to both their learning styles and therefore is truly accessible to all.  DS was able to skip sessions if he needed to and there was no pressure or 'sad faces' or 'where have you been' type memes - he simply logged back on to the next session and picked up where he left off.  This was all very positive.

Likewise, because the program is tailored to the individual child, he didn't feel in competition with his sister if she had 'more stars' as they were both working at their own level, with their own rewards, so neither felt any competition with each other. And they loved the aspect of buying gifts for each other, which was super sweet.

Another feature we liked was that you are able to go back and correct your mistakes at the end, thus learning from them and having that learning reinforced.

From a Home Educators point of view, it was wonderful to have the opportunity to review a product as unique and individual as our children.  There are no targets, the product encourages self-motivation and does not restrict or limit a child to curriculum confines or 'age-appropriate' learning.  The sky's the limit - children are encouraged to engage, enjoy and pursue their learning for it's own reward.

And from a Bloggers point of view, I found the company extremely professional and approachable and easy to work with. They have developed a great product and are justifiably proud of it.

You can watch a Smartick presentation here - Smartick Presentation

Sign up for a FREE 15 day trial period HERE

Why I Love Our Alternative Life

I love the life we have chosen to live.  I am so thankful that I have been able to remove my children from full time education and educate them myself at home.  We have had so many wonderful opportunities, made some amazing friends, but most of all I have watched my children blossom and thrive.

I wish I could show you pictures of them when they were at school.  Even taking aside the apocalyptic meltdowns at the end of the day, the 2-3 hours to get them ready & coaxed out of the house in the mornings, the wakeful, anxious, interupted nights........ even if we put just that little lot to one side, if you looked at photos of my children from that time you would literally see the stress etched onto their little faces.

It's heartbreaking to look back on. I get frequent guilt that I didn't act sooner.  Don't get me wrong, I worked so closely with an amazing team of nursery staff who were truly on board & brilliant with each and every child in their care.  And I was up and down to that bl##dy school (sorry, that is literally The nicest thing I can say about it) like a yo-yo! I had meetings with teachers, SENCOs (though I resent calling the useless, unqualified twits that!) deputies and multiple Heads (5 Heads in the 3 years my daughter was there). I helped with reading & other literacy exercises in the classrooms, sewing, swimming, did my best with the PTA - school fairs etc. I even served as a Parent Govenor.  I tried.

But what I wish I'd known, or believed, was that there was another way. A close friend urged me repeatedly to take them out of school, she could see the damage being done, and I'm so glad I finally made the leap.

Close friends and family thought I was mad (they may have been right) - they worried how I'd cope, and frequently told me as such.  One (former) friend even took me out for an 'intervention'! I kid you not. And proceeded to tell me 'what She thought was in my daughter's best interests'!!  Just my daughter mind you, my clever, 'high functioning', on the gifted and talented register for every subject, daughter.  When I reminded said former friend that I was also taking my son out of school she actually waved her hand dismissively and said - oh well, I get that, I mean what's the point of having Him in school?

And I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, dismissed her rightfully from our lives, and cracked on.

Coming up for 2 years later the difference is sooooo apparent.  My kids are HAPPY.  We are super close.  Of course we argue, boy do we argue, but we talk things through and my kids are wonderful kids.  I'm proud of their maturity. I'm proud of their kindness. I'm proud of their individuality.  They hold their heads up high, look the world in the face (sometimes, cos y'know... Autism) and live their lives unashamedly.  They fidget, they twiddle, they stim - loudly and gloriously at times.  They are respectful and considerate.  They speak up for themselves (less so with DD but it's coming).  They express themselves very well when it comes to talking about feelings and de-processing situations.  They wear what they want and like what they like and barely anyone judges them. On the rare occasions someone does, they mostly shrug it off or we talk it through.

Our Home Ed days have become less and less structured - although DD does love a workbook and spellings! She has an art tutor, we horse ride, she does gymnastics, auditioned & joined a theatre group this year! And that's really only the tip of the iceberg. She's had poetry published in an anthology, done her Arts Award, learnt about programming, read a billion-ty books (yes that's definitely a real word) - taught herself French & German, done monthly presentations on a variety of countries around the world, written books and made clothes for her dolls and herself.

DS is so much happier and calmer.  On the days it's too much, it's too much - and that's okay. We just pause for a while and let the processing catch up. We give his brain the space it needs to cope with the overwhelming amount of information throwing itself at him relentlessly.  Consequently, he can now read - quite well.  It's taken time, and is probably below age expectation but I can tell you it's waaay above what he was achieving at school and, more importantly, he's not stressed, embarrassed or ashamed about it. He will pick up a book, read something outloud without fear - as none of his friends judge or mock his ability (unlike at school).  He also writes, same reason. At our Learning Group on Monday (a Home Ed co-op with other families) he had a go at writing bat poems with his friends. Total mix of abilities, SEN and ages (2 -10 years old) and all comfortable in their own abilities and self worth.

To me this is more valuable and precious than any government levied measuring tool.  I am teaching my kids to be functioning, enabled adults - to pursue their own intetests, be decent people, consider the environment, the world in which we live and those around us.  That they don't need to be competitive - they can be motivated just by themselves , for themselves.

On top of this they have life skills. They understand money and the value of it, how to budget and plan. They know about bill paying and how to manage finances. Can do a weekly shop online for the family. Care for their own pets, tidy and hoover their own rooms. Help in the garden, properly. Lay the table, load the dishwasher, follow a recipe, cook a meal, put the washing on.

And they play - self directedly - for hours and days, inside and out, with friends or on their own.  They also learn, at their own pace, whatever interests them, all the time. We don't stop for weekends or because it's 'after school' - our lives and learning have a more natural flow.  We don't have to end a topic by week 3, there are no time limits on our interests. And they literally never, and I do mean never, tell me they're bored. Ever.

So I am glad we made the leap. That I took their hands and we jumped bravely together in to this new life. We really are having the most wonderful time.

Oh, and did I mention they're both Autistic? 😊💖

Facing Fears & Reaching for the Stars

So, back in January my girl saw an advert for auditions for a variety show with a youth group at the library (her favourite place 😊)

She copied down all the information and asked me if she could apply. I'll admit my heart sank. I was worried for her - thinking she would be up against lots of lovies in a very competitive environment and all I could see was disappointment and I wanted to protect her. I saw her Aspergers before I saw her and my mind swelled with anxiety.

But we talked it through and I knew I had to let my girl spread her wings, and be there to catch her if she fell.

So we applied and she dutifully rehearsed at home the song and written piece they sent her to learn. She worked hard to learn it by heart, add emotion and action to it. She worked extra hard on her eye contact and on capturing the correct facial expressions.

On the day of auditions she was nervous, had a wobble, became dangerously close to a melt down. But we practiced breathing exercises, had lots and lots of goes up and down the climbing wall, and went over and over her practiced pieces. And despite there being a number of pushy parents at the audition, one of whom actually physically pushed her out of the way so his child could have the number he wanted! But despite this my girl, my ASD girl, held her ground and went for it!

We are SO proud of her. She has no training, doesn't attend dance, singing or acting classes. Was never even given a part in the school plays because they weren't sure how she would react....
Didn't know a single soul there. And yet stood up and gave it her all.

And last week she started weekly rehearsals for the next 4 1/2 months for a variety show she will be performing in over 3 dates over the summer.

It's true what they say - Face your fears, Live your dreams.  And although there are sure to be turbulent times ahead that will need managing, I am so, so very proud of her. Always xx

The Misnomer of High-Functioning Autism

I've been meaning to write about this for a while, for quite a while actually.

My children are both diagnosed with Autism.  My daughter's diagnosis is officially High Functioning Autism (formally Aspergers) and my son's is simply Autistic Spectrum Disorder (yuk!).  Sorry (not sorry) but I hate that term - disorder - there's nothing 'wrong' with him.  He is amazing, and a far better human being than many NT's I've met in my life....

Anyway, I digress. 

Both of my children are highly verbal.  Extremely, highly verbal.  On some days I would say Relentlessly Verbal!  Apparently this means that are Functioning more Highly than less verbal autistic people.

What an absolute crock!

Language is their main stim!  Very little of it is understood, or applied in the correct context.  An ENORMOUS amount of it is echolalia.  Spend more than a few hours in our company and you will quickly realise that conversation is, by and large, on an endless loop.  It isn't actually conversation at all, as you and I know it.  There are no "how are you's?" No "Could I have?"  Or "May I just?"  Or "I would like"s or "I think" "I want" or "I am"s.  But there are enormously chunks, soliloquies of beautiful prose and composition. Some even masquerading as Opinions....  They rarely are, unless they are my repeated opinions, or from a book or a film they've recently seen.

My son had a Physiotherapy appointment recently.  He has this for his hypermobility, and for the fact he finds it extraordinarily difficult to control and manoeuvre his body with appropriate force and motion.  On this particular occasion, as his Physio repeatedly jumped up to stop him ramming himself in to the wall, she concluded that his mobility problems are due to "Growth Spurts"!  Her actual expert opinion was that "because he is so physically big for his age, when he has a growth spurt he forgets how to move his body and has to relearn all his motions appropriately for his new size.  This happens frequently because he is the top percentile."

Hmmmmm, he FORGETS how to move his body??  Because that's totally Neurotyical isn't it?  When I wake up of a morning, I've often forgotten how to get out of bed.  Y'know 'cos I've been asleep.......    Except actually, no I don't.  I don't ever forget how to walk up a flight of stairs or sit on a chair or not drop a cup or bite through a glass.  I've never 'forgotten' any of those things, ever.  Because my circuitry doesn't jam in the way his does. 

Yet because my son presents as 'High Functioning' - he can converse, he will comply, be obedient, follow an instruction (at an appointment once every three months at least!) - his actual needs are missed, ALL THE TIME.

He frequently inverts his leg, cannot stand up because he is so fatigued, has to pull himself up the stairs on all fours and slide down them (holding on to the sides).  He has pulled the hand rail out of the wall, he has cracked the sink in half just by applying TOO MUCH PRESSURE.  But apparently it's just Growth Spurts - because even the professionals FAIL to recognized his DIAGNOSED Autism and consequential SENSORY PERCEPTION DIFFICULTIES.  They also REFUSE to consider other conditions may be part of his mix - because he does have a diagnosis of Autism, and he can walk and talk, so he couldn't possibly have ADHD as well could he?  Or Dyspraxia?  Or EDS?  Or maybe even PTSD?  No, because Autism has been diagnosed and all the experts report that he 'Functions Highly' despite the fact his diagnosis confirmed he was severely impacted by autistic behaviours, severely impacted.

And my daughter.  My darling girl.  Who misses a thousand social cues a day.  Who says grossly inappropriate things at the most inopportune moments.  Has genuinely no idea at all that she is being facetious because she has totally misinterpreted the correct social context of the language she is using.  Who seems to be unable to sustain friendships, or maintain lasting genuine connections with people.  But she can impress the adults when she is sat in the chair.  She can appear bright, witty, eloquent, with no idea why the magic words she is parroting out are hitting the spot, just that they have done before so she will try them again now.   And if she focuses on a spot in the distance she can hold her ticks, her fidgets in until afterwards.  She can dodge any direct instructions or commands for those very short periods of time that she in under scrutiny.  But be with her all day and the façade quickly unravels.

But I think what is hardest for them is they seem to have feet in both camps and can master neither.  Because society tells us they are not "severely" autistic - because they are able to control and contain some of their stims, some of the time.  But they are not Neurotypical either, and they don't understand the minefield of social situations, interactions and nuances that others take for granted.  So they are stuck, in No Mans Land.  And it is lonely, and bleak, and frightening.  And that is NOT High Functioning - it is simply less understood and less facilitated.

About 6 months ago my kids started attending a special needs social group.  They like the activities and the facilities there, but they do not like the fact they are not understood.  They are more verbal than any of the other children there.  So, sadly, they have been deemed more capable.  They are not.  They do not understand why they are being asked to tidy up after other children who are throwing stuff around, or why they are supposed to 'accept' that person hitting or yelling at them.  And why their colour of Autism is less important, because the adults in charge can tell it to "shhhhh" more.  But yet this is what happens.  And we are sticking with it only because there is nowhere else.  Nowhere else that fits, that is safe and appropriate for them. So I am educating the leaders and staff that run the group that this is not ok, and there is more that one colour of Autism, and they all need help, facilitating, safe guarding, valuing, listening to.  My children should not be expected to concede more often, simply because they appear, on the surface, to be more capable.  When, infact, delayed processing, lack of auditory understanding and emotional unregulation means it can take days, weeks and often months to work through these issues at home afterwards.  This is NOT High Functioning.  It's simply "putting up with more" or "making less fuss" - and that makes me weep, literally and frequently when I see the additional battles they have to face because of this label. 

World Autism Awareness Day 2017

I wasn't going to write a separate article today.  What have I got to offer? I thought.  What can I possibly add to those who are way more expert in this arena than me?  What can I say that hasn't already been said?

But I can't not write. I can't not add.  There IS still so much to be said, so much to be learnt, so much to be done.

I am an Autism Mum. My children are both diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (a title I HATE with a passion!).  I'm wholly comfortable with the diagnosis of Autism. I am wholly uncomfortable with the label "Disorder".

And, as every Autism parent knows Every Day is Autism Awareness Day.  We are so, so aware. Every day, all the time.

I have seen much on social media urging us not to Light it up Blue.  I think I am growing to understand this sentiment.  My son is younger than my daughter, yet he was diagnosed first.  So yes there is still that misinterpretation that Autism is a male thing or that it is more prevalent in boys.  I don't buy this.  The stats may show it is more diagnosed in boys - we are yet to determine if it is more prevalent.  Until we have an accurate diagnostic tool, and so, so, so much more awareness, we simply will not know.

My daughter was diagnosed 15 months after my son, and largely it was my son's diagnosis that helped us FINALLY secure a referral for her to even be seen and assessed.  Even then it was a battle, because she was intelligent, and verbal, so she couldn't possibly be autistic could she?  Aaaaargh!!

My son's diagnosis took 3 painstaking, expensive, battling years - because he was good. He was a good boy who suffered massive separation anxiety, so that had to be it didn't it?  I was a fussy mother.  I needed to 'cut him loose', he needed to 'toughen up a bit'.   Not at all.  I was his translator.  In a world where nothing made sense, I was constant and I made sense.  I would translate to him and for him, all the difficult social and sensory situations he couldn't navigate.  Remove that translator and the world was a terrifying place where he was lost and scared and alone.  But they missed all that, for half his little life, despite him also having ALL the early signs - poor eye contact, unresponsive to his name being called, speech delay, speech and language referral, unable to sequence events, unable to predict cause and effect, unable to read facial expressions, unable to determine hot/ cold - the list goes on and on and on.  But it was all missed, by everyone, all the time.

I am thankful for a GP who believed in us.  Who referred and referred and referred again.  Who, despite endless rebuffles and a request to "desist" continued to believe in us and fight for us. 

It's probably because of our diagnostic journeys that I also have issue with the Puzzle Piece autism symbol.  My kids have never been a puzzle to me.  It was clear as ******* day that they were autistic.  I will admit it took a deal longer to finally 'get it' with my daughter.  We thought it was a number of other things, and she ricocheted between counsellors, therapists, CAMHS, Educational Psychologists etc for years before we finally realized that actually she just wasn't getting it.  Yes she was staggeringly bright and astute but she had literally no social or emotional understanding at all.  She actually really didn't understand why she could just go up and take that swing away from another child and go on it herself, she really, really, didn't. She didn't even "see" the other child, she just saw the motion and thought "ooh, swing".  Like an infant would.  And she still does.  Despite the theraplay, the social stories, the context placement - this is still a massive struggle for her but it is truly not that she is being mean, she really does not see!

We do a lot of social stories and a lot of therapeutic parenting at home.  As we home educate, I would say as much, if not more, time is devoted to social understanding and life skills as is given to actual 'lessons'.  And that's fine with me, great infact, as I know this is what they were not getting at school.  Maybe once a term the SENCO would take my daughter to a 'focus group' and spend 15 minutes talking about 'Bullying' or 'How to be a Friend' not realizing that talking without pictures would make no sense to her at all, and that even with visual reinforcement she would need these visuals to be constantly available to her in order to apply them.  She couldn't 'remember' and 'implement' them herself without context and prompting, ever.  So they would throw their hands in the air, call me in to school and protest "but she did the bullying workshop"! 

And my son, had 1-2-1 time daily with a TA working on recognition of facial expressions and sequencing of events.  1-2-1 time, every day, for TWO YEARS.  But no, he showed, absolutely no signs of Autism........

So I guess I can understand the puzzle symbol for the 'professionals' as, in my experience, very few of them actual get it.  And even with the puzzle pieces, a picture and the instructions  right in front of them, still can't piece it together!  And that makes me sad, angry and sad.

But my children aren't a puzzle to me.  They aren't blue (which, by the way, was historically a colour for girls!  Pink was a more expensive dye to produce so this was reserved for the clothing of boys, blues and greys being the cheaper to produce and therefore reserved for the 'less important' girls.  So the whole gender blue thing is topsy turvey anyway to my mind), they aren't red or any one colour in particular.  It's called a spectrum for a reason, a glorious, colourful spectrum.  Unfortunately for us the rainbow is already taken, as I think that far better describes my children than a puzzle piece or one set colour.

But we could argue all day about how best to respresent it.  The important thing is that autistic people and autism families are raising awareness. Flying the flag. Promoting acceptance. Sharing the love.

And it's not easy, it really isn't. Every day is a little bit harder than it should be, fact.  Granted there are times that are magical and wonderful but day to day life takes longer, is harder, requires more input, more management, more planning, more resilience, more prompting, more aids.  For me it's this that I would wish friends and family could understand or just believe.  You don't need to see our child rocking and screaming on the floor to know they're struggling.  Just believe us, please.  And understand when we say no to a particular thing (usually special occasions - please understand they are not special to our kids, they are terrifying and stressful and confusing and overwhelming).  Trust us when we say we can't get a baby sitter - we really can't, it's really not that simple because we are not talking about an adult we know keeping them safe for a few hours. We are talking about the build up, the lead in, the preparation, the social stories, the actual event and then the diabolical de-stimulating, delayed processing afterwards that can take days and weeks and leaves us so wrung out and exhausted, it really wasn't worth those 3 hours and Pizza Express with you!

That is the awareness I would like to raise. 

Thank you for reading xx