Monday 29 August 2016

What I Think About School

Yes, I'm really gonna go there :-)

This morning I was preparing to write a post about what a wonderful summer we've had (and we have, by the way :-) ) and I will get round to writing this but in the meantime it struck me that the reason we have had such a brilliant summer this year is that the kids have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much happier and more relaxed.  We haven't needed to 'transist' from term time to holidays, it's been much more fluid and organic as one day simply rolled in to the next and we continued as we do.  
The kids have not needed to de-junk, de-stress and weren't exhausted before we begun. I am not utterly burnt out and sick of the sight of everyone and all the playground politics and wanting to get the hell away from everyone and everything!
As a result - I have said YES to pretty much Everything this summer - when I would normally have said No, only agreeing to a select, well spaced out few things that I felt we could emotionally and physically manage. Ring-fencing and guarding the remainder of our precious 'family time' with committed ferocity.
But this year I haven't had to.  We were all up for meeting with friends, getting out and about, having play dates, spending all day with other people (this has rarely happened for us in the past) and having consecutive plans day after day (again, not something we have ever been able to consider before as our Autism House and delayed processing have meant we simply could never pack our schedule in such a way before as DS & DD both needed time to de-junk and process in between activities and social interactions).

So, realising this has put me in a reflective mood.  

I am, a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge fan of Home Education.  I am not an unschooler, but I don't judge those who are.  The very beauty of Home Education is the FREEDOM and CHOICE you have. You don't have to agree with your contemporaries and That's OK!!  What an amazing and wonderful freedom that is to have which, I'm sorry, but you just don't have in school.  And you DO have in life, so what better way to prepare your children for that?

I've always tried to be tactful about my choice, to the point of being apologetic or hiding behind DS's special needs as a Reason for our making this choice.   It's a factor, most certainly, but I think we would have ended up on the road regardless.  Because, really, deep down in my soul, I HATE SCHOOL.

Now a few things I should quantify before I proceed are thus:-

I trained to be a Primary School Teacher.  Well, I went to university to train to be a primary school teacher, as it had been my lifelong dream and ambition.  I lasted a term!  Why?  Not the children (whom I adored and was committed to) but the politics.  The politics, politics, politics.   It was blatantly apparent, from the start, that mainstream (Government dictated) primary school these days is 80% politics, 10% grazed knees, 5% PTA fundraising & 5% academics.  And I think that's being generous.  School has become all about conformity, control and political agendas and not about learning, knowledge, independence and opportunity. 

So, I switched to an academic degree, as I knew I could never work in that environment.

Secondly, I was happy at school.  I was clingy as a young child but by and large I have happy memories of school - particularly primary school.  I have fond memories of my teachers and the days I spent there.  Similarly with secondary school, so many teachers inspired and influenced me and I still have many strong adult friendships dating back to my school days.  So my decision is not based on my own experience of school, which was not negative.

It is also not based solely on the school my kids went to - which was dreadful!  But not unique. They were particularly awful, in so very many ways, but not that different in others from many other schools in the area these days.  Times have changed, and not for the better.

For example, let me share with you some of the things my children 'learnt' at primary school........
(DD went to school from Reception to the end of Yr 2,  DS from Reception to the end of Yr 1)

New York is the capital of America (from the classroom teacher!)

Fairies DO NOT exist (from a Teaching Assistant in Reception!)  (I hadn't realised it was your job to decide my child's personality at the age of 5!)

The synopsis on the back of book is called "The Blurb" (I kid you not, Classroom teacher "I will now read you the blurb!")

It is acceptable to spend lesson time reading out leaflets from Holiday Clubs & Theatre club - and even to have ENTIRE ASSEMBLIES of Marketing from these companies, so the school can get a little kick-back

Your child must learn NONSENSE words to pass a phonics test, even though this confuses them and hinders their reading progress

You cannot move on once you have learnt your Number Bonds to 10 - no matter how bored or frustrated you become, you are NOT allowed to write out your times tables to 12, or do other sums, or even read a book from the reading corner, you must sit at your desk and either do nothing or continue writing the same number bonds (for 3 WEEKS of Maths lessons!!!)

Your Homework will not be marked - in fact no-one gives a sh*t about it, it has NO VALUE and ZERO PURPOSE the government has just decided you must be set it, every night and weekend, after 6 1/2 hours a day already in a controlled environment.  Under no circumstances must you be allowed free time, actual play or to think

You will spend hours upon hours on topics such as Nursery Stories (which include such mind-numbingly dumbed down tasks as writing an apology letter from Goldilocks to the Three Bears - y'know, just in case you didn't 'get' the moral of the story...), Pirates, The Seaside and Mini Beasts (they're called Insects for flora's sake! Insects & possibly arachnids!) These will have NO VALUE in your life and will probably be entirely composed of stuff you already know (unless you have lived in a box until you went to school...)

Your school trips will be cr*p as no-one can take groups of school children anywhere age appropriate, interesting and educational any more - because the behaviour is simply not at an acceptable and manageable standard, and the Risk Assessment is too prohibitive.   You might go to a farm, or make a pizza at Frankie & Bennys (and you'll have waited ALL YEAR for that!)

These are just a few of the 'Highlights' - I could go in indefinitely! But these are just a few examples, off the top of my head, that helped us along the road to our decision to Home Educate.  I realise this is not everyone's experience but it was mine.  It was ours.  And I think I am fed of apologising for or defending our decision to Home Educate. 

For us, my children get a better standard of education at home.  Simple fact.  
They both read at appropriate levels.  DS would be in a lower stream for reading at school but within age appropriate range, which is HUGE considering he has ASD, ADHD, Dyspraxia & probable Dyslexia (none of which were recognised at school by the way.....they just gave him glasses, which the opticians have now told us he doesn't need!).  DD reads at almost adult level - she has read all the Roald Dahls, David Walliams, CS Lewis, Roman Mysteries, Horrible Histories and so on (she's 8).
They both know their times tables to 12 and their maths is age appropriate or higher. And yes, they carry the 1!!!
They do science, music, forest school, museum visits, gymnastics, swimming, history, geography, art, languages and religious studies.   
And their education continues all year round, it doesn't start and stop with the seasons.  This summer DS has come on enormously with his reading and we are working through a series of science books, they've done Scratch programming independently, completed the Summer Reading challenge at the library, worked on French, German and Spanish (DD), done independent research and projects on Great Britain for their Geography Club meeting and written weekly to 2 summer penpals each :-)
They are also happy, healthy, confident and well socialised (and yes, they choose their own friends and play with them independently, away from me).   

I was asked the other day if I have a Time Table ready for September.  It made me laugh out loud, literally.  I'm also frequently asked how we "fit it all in".  Home Education is SO misunderstood.  We don't replicate school (because we HATE school lol ;-) ).  Think of us more as a university and the parents are the tutor.  The children are active in their own education, and we are their guide.  The learning never stops - everything is an opportunity.  They will get out what they put in, and they learn that Oh So Valuable lesson early! And if I needed any more proof positive that it works (I don't, but hey :-) )  then this summer has been IT for me.  Because we haven't had the backlash, the fighting, the BOREDOM.  These kids have Life Skills, they are Self Reliant, they can Self Regulate - in short they can Find Things To Do because they are interested in Life and their LOVE of Learning has not been cut short by enforced regimentation and legislation. Oh, and neither of them have Tablets! Trust me, it's a beautiful thing xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Wednesday 10 August 2016

Autism Services

So, back in June (I know, I know :-) )  I went to The Autism Show at ExCeL, London with a friend. 

I'll be honest, I was disappointed.  I don't know what I was hoping for.  Services I think.  But, as I already knew, there aren't any - or at least there aren't any you don't have to pay heftily for :-(   Autism remains yours alone to manage, unless you happen to be rich, basically, or by luck of postcode be in a borough that assigns a paediatrician and some follow up (we are not in one, but I've heard tell of people who are..)

But I spoke to lots of stall holders, dutifully collected lots of leaflets and information, and there were some pearls amougst them, so I'm finally getting around to sharing those with you.

The Play Doctors
( http://www.theplaydoctors.co.uk/ )
were my absolute favourites.  They are a family company, who have evolved over the years from finding their own solutions to various difficulties.  They have some wonderful, simple, colourful, durable, well thought out products.  I would definitely recommend a look at their web site for supporting communication, social integration and positive behaviour.  Helpfully, they distinguish between tools for in the classroom and those for personal use at home, although you are free to purchase either type of resource.

For older children (teens to adulthood) was the fantastic Brain in Hand
(http://braininhand.co.uk/ )
Basically they provide support software that can be accessed from your phone.  The software helps to manage independent living/ travel/ studying for users with autism who need additional, continual prompts and support to manage various situations and tasks.  I was really impressed by them, and definitely have bookmarked them for when DD & DS get a little older.

If money is no object, Total Sensory have some fantastic ideas and products
(http://www.totalsensory.co.uk/shop/index.php )
They design and install gorgeous sensory rooms, but you can also buy individual items and some lovely weighted toys and sensory packs.

TTS Group Ltd 
(http://www.tts-group.co.uk/ )
Have some awesome Special Needs resources, including specific resources for Dyslexia, Dyscalculia and Dyspraxia as well as Autism.  

I was also hugely impressed with the gorgeous looking Thomas Centre
(http://www.thethomascentre.co.uk/ )
They are a beautiful, family run holiday park for children with autism and related conditions.  For many of us autism families, holidays and 'high days' are actually not fun times but are hugely stressful and challenging for all the family.  This wonderfully thought out venue, could be a true solution for many such families.

Autism Links
(http://www.autismlinks.co.uk/ )
is a central service with, as the title suggests, links to all things Autism.

And another one for older people with autism was United Response
(http://www.unitedresponse.org.uk/what-we-do )
They are a charity that work with individuals to help fulfill their potential. This seems to be more with a view to helping people with autism (and other special needs) to access employment, voluntary work or further study as adults.

This is by no means an exhaustive review of the The Autism Show and the many organisations and services that were on show there, neither am I endorsing any of the above mentioned groups, products or services.  This is just to share information I found there of some organisations that were of interest or use to me, in our personal journey, either for now or in the future. I hope they may be of use to others as well x




 

Monday 8 August 2016

Holiday happenings

So how are The Holidays going so far for everyone?  Loving every minute or wishing they were over? Sick of seeing 101 super ideas to make each day magical?  Or loving having the time to act on inspiration?

So far I am pleased with how the holidays are working out.  DH is currently decorating the hall way, which is kinda hard on the kids as it means they can't get to their rooms during the day.  This means they have to think ahead what toys/ belongings to bring downstairs in the morning - given we have Zero planning skills, this has been something of an emotional challenge! But, a few days in, DD has settled in to it as has been filling her time with work as well as play. She's worked on her Maths and been self-studying French and German! 

Intersperse this with outdoor play, time with friends, parks, cinema and lots, and lots of Lego building.....




Including challenging herself to make a tower using ALL the white bricks, literally!




DS meanwhile has been dressing up as Indiana Jones - ALOT - and trying to make whips out of any and everything! 

I'm also pleased to say he has been soldiering on with his reading - mostly reluctantly but with occasional unprecedented enthusiasm!  For example, we were out with friends at the weekend and took the kids (all 7 of them, between us) to sign up for the Summer Reading Challenge at a local library.  I was not expecting DS to want to do this, but he not only signed up (despite a really Looooong wait!), he completed the Treasure Hunt (including writing the answers on an answer sheet....  this is a BIG DEAL!) 




And read two books there and then to complete the first two stages of the challenge.  Oh, and did I mention, he then Queued AGAIN and told the librarian all about the two books he had read to earn his stickers!!  SO Proud! :-)  

And the highlight of today was Touchable Bubbles.  I don't know if anyone has ever tried them - sensory heaven!  



They come in tiny little bottles, which makes them Even More exciting as they are very prolific!  You can get a pack of 12 for under £2 on Amazon - (probably be great in party bags too :-) ) - www.amazon.co.uk/12-MINI-TOUCHABLE-BUBBLES   They do leave a slight residue when they pop (although it is dry and just brushes off) - so you may want to use them outside (if you're more house proud than me! Lol x) 


Thursday 4 August 2016

Reading Battles, Sharpie 'painting' & fun with friends :-)

We spent a fab day today with old friends from our toddler group days.  There was table football, tote bag painting, giant skittles, feeding chickens, catch, It, sword fights and indoor discos! Lovely to catch up and spend the day with 8 kids happily playing together :-)

Yesterday evening we got around to doing our glass 'painting' using our new Sharpie pens. It worked a treat! so I wanted to show the results :-)  We used some old Nutella's jars we had washed our and saved, and used them to make these cute little candle holders -





I'm really pleased with how they came out and how simple they were to do.

The other thing we've been doing is getting DS back in to reading.  He has become increasingly frustrated that he cannot yet 'free read' but at the same time is HUUUUUUGELY resistant to actually Doing Any Reading!  He will happily be read to, for hours but Oh My God, Do Not Ask Him To Read!!!  

When we first started out on our HE journey we had Reading Diaries and I made sure I read with DS daily (DD less so, although she kept her own diary updated as she is such an avid reader!).  The last few months I've backed off a bit as DS was becoming extremely agitated by it, so we took a break from that routine and did different types of learning for a while, and indirect reading.

Anyway, one of the causes of stress for DS is reading fiction - he gets extremely aggitate by 'plots' that are not real, viable or plausible and even more annoyed by pictures that are not 'factually accurate' (eg cartoon figures with over the top eyebrows, or figures with 4 fingers and no thumb).  His mind is racing so fast, taking in all the information at a relentless pace and it just exhausts him to filter through the 'unnecessary'. He then becomes too fatigued and distracted to actually read and comprehend.

One way I've reignited his interest is with some of the Usbourne Early Readers - they have some great versions of the Greek Myths, Legends and classics such as Sinbad the Sailor.  He likes these kind of stories, and they are written in a very accessible way with really great illustrations. 

And this week, I bought this lovely set of books from my other favourite, The Book People -


Fantastic bargain at £9.99 for the set of 10, and they are just the right level for him - 


 so we're back to set reading of 2 pages a day, which is a MAJOR achievement, especially as it is the school holidays!  

Little Miss DD is no such problem. When asked what she would like to do tomorrow, her first answer was 'Go to a library' ha ha ha :-)  Bless her x 

How do you motivate your little readers?  Or don't you have to? 

Wednesday 3 August 2016

Indiana Jones & The Sugar Crafters

Hmmm, so this week we have relaxed the rules we have in our house about computer games.  Against my better judgement, I bought a Lego Indiana Jones game for the Wii on Ebay and a second controller so they could play it together.  This was a Big Move from my point of view - as we only have the original Wii and the only thing we have it for is the Wii Fit, which me and DH use, and which the kids are occasionally allowed to play in the holidays etc.   But DS really enjoyed playing this particular game when we were on holiday and we were happy with the content and the sociability of it (it has to be played as a two-player game) so we thought we would give it a whirl........

Famous Last Words....... :-) :-) :-)

It arrived yesterday and has been a roller coaster of highs and epic lows ever since! There's been some great collaborative play, some good listening to direction when it's suggested they take a break and go outside for a bit etc, and also some spectacular arguments with very choice language and name calling!  And if I had even 10p for every time DD has said "right, that's it, I'm not playing any more!"  I would be a very rich lady lol.

But this is all new to me.  So, do I leave them to 'bed in' or do I stand over them policing the time they spend on it?  One of my Big Things, that I know I say waaaaaaaay too often is "I don't want to be The Police of...." and I can feel it coming on now.  My kids are well used to me saying "I don't want to be The Police of Sweets" or "The Police of Play" etc etc - so I certainly don't want to be The Police of Computer Games.  I can remember spending days and days on our old Amstrad, playing the one game we had (Tombstone) - which took about quarter of an hour to load from a cassette!!   And we are pretty strict on this kind of stuff.  Our kids don't have tablets, iPads, DS's, X-Boxes or anything such like.  They have are almost 9 and 7 1/2 and they have a Tamagotchi each and DS has a Secret Diary - that's literally it. We never even had LeapPads or anything!  So I'm inclined to let them work this out for themselves (and close my ears to some of things I am hearing - given there's only us here!).

On the plus side, it means DH is free to get on with painting the hall.  Yay! (I can't tell you how THRILLED he is about this!  I'm sure you can imagine :-) )  And they have responded to intervention when it's been necessary.  Indeed, yesterday, only an hour after THE GAME had arrived, they had to leave to attend a Sugar Crafting workshop being run by a Home Ed teen doing her Silver Arts Award.  DH neglected to give DS a countdown for this and a predictable meltdown occurred.  But, he was able to listen, calm down, and respond to instruction and went and attended the workshop with his sister.  I was so proud (especially as I couldn't take them myself as I wasn't feeling well, so this added another New Thing into the mix for DS).  But, by all accounts, they had a fantastic time and were absolutely thrilled with the results......


......... and even more pleased once they were allowed to tuck in to them!



And today they've taken regular breaks, tidied their rooms (when asked), remembered to eat and drink (MAJOR achievement for DD!!!) and averted a full on asthama attack from DS when he accidentally scalded his finger on the kettle (no actually injuring, just a shock from the steam - but enough of a shock to cause Full On Can't Breathe Melt Down).  Inhalers administered, several cuddles later, all fine :-)  

DD in the mean time settled down quietly to work on this beautiful 3D watercolour - of a Bay (not a beach, a BAY Mummy!) -


And now they have gone back to gaming! But at least it's now ALL they've done lol x

Monday 1 August 2016

Home from the Holiday

Well we're back from our holidays :-)   We spent a wonderful week in Wales, with fabulous friends.  The kids had THE BEST time together and it truly feels like we have had a proper break.  Super, super proud of DS who managed being in a New Place, and having No Electronics for a whole week! (Not even TV as ours didn't work!!) AAAAAAAND he didn't use his ear defenders once!  WOW!

The other highlight (for me) was finally getting to go to Portmeirion :-)   I had been due to go with a friend more than a decade ago but instead ended up hospitalized for a week!  Anyway, it's just as beautiful as I expected it to be.........



And after a day at home chilling (the kids) while I caught up on all the washing, and DH sorted out all the pets, the kids decided today they wanted to do some work!  So I found DD had taken up residence in the play room with Ginger the bunny and was working on some Maths -


(These are the Carol Vorderman workbooks from https://www.thebookpeople.co.uk/carolvordermanKS2 )

DS, on the other hand, had decamped to the lounge and was constructing a Wild West settlement (available on Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/Cut-out-Wild-West-Usborne-Models



So happy to see them voluntarily learning, on their 'holidays' :-)

In other news, we popped in to town today as we were all due an eye test.  DS was told he no longer needs glasses (I suspect he never did - another smoke screen from school who failed to recognise his autism.....). The optometrist was really good with DS and let him look at all the machinery, spoke to him all the way through and really took his time to wait for DS to answer before he proceeded with anything.  He even took photos of his eyes because DS wanted him to.  It made the world of difference to the appointment.  One of his colleagues commented on how well behaved DS was and how well he was coping and I said it was thanks to the optometrists excellent understanding and manner with him :-)  Big thank you Boots Opticians (including the new central booking service who sent notes on DS's needs to the branch ahead of time so they were already prepared). Little things like this make SUCH a difference when you have a child with Special Needs so BIG Thank You to Boots Opticians (including the new central booking service who sent notes on DS's needs to the branch ahead of time so they were already prepared). Win!

Afterwards we went in to town and - result :-) - Sharpie sets were half price in Wilkos!  


In fact their whole range of Sharpies is currently on offer, and available online as well as in store - http://www.wilko.com/sharpie - just in case anyone else is as excited about this as me lol!

So tomorrow we shall be decorating washed out Nutella jars to make candle/ night light holders.  And anything else I can think of!  :-)