Putting the POW! into Power - The Curiosity Box Review

So, over the past week, we have been reviewing for The Curiosity Box their "Putting the POW! into Power Box  http://www.curiosity-box.com/shop/product/351932595

The Curiosity Boxes are aimed at 7- 11 year olds, so my in-house 'cadets' DD (9) and DS (8) were the perfect age to assist me 😊

The box contained 3 activities/ experiments for us to do.  Instructions, Fact Cards & Materials are all included.  For some activities you will need a few items from home but these are genuinely items you will have - such as spoon, mixing bowl and pens/ pencils.  Other than that, everything you need is included so you should be able to literally open your box and get stuck straight in.  The instructions are easy to follow, there is some basic safety information, but generally speaking the kids can get stuck in and do it themselves - there is no lengthy paperwork for the grown ups to wade through first (yay!).

Our first experiment was Sparky Sculptures -

Unfortunately we'd had a bit of a salt explosion in transit!  But everything still worked after a quick wipe off and there was enough of every ingredient that it didn't matter we had lost a bit.

The mission was to make 'conductive' and 'insulating' play-doughs -

Food colouring was included, so we were able to colour our conductive dough, and leave plain out insulating dough -

Both types of dough were easy to make following the instructions.

We then tested our doughs by making electrical circuits to light up LEDs (all provided with the kit) -

After successfully completing our circuits we then had a go at creating series circuits and parallel circuits (Mummy learnt something new with this one!!)  Out parallel circuit was a great success -

After this, the cadets were inspired to have a go at making their own circuits with the conductive play-dough.  DS made an erupting volcano -

And DD decided to test the circuit's effectiveness with a series of twists and turns -

When we were finished, we packed up the reusable bits (removing and safely storing the batteries) and the play-dough we kept wrapped up in the fridge.  A week later it's still ok now!

Our second activity was with Static Eletricity and had two challenges.  With our balloons, we had to create static electricity by rubbing them against various materials.  The cadets tried wool - 

And then they tried their hair! -

They then had to use the static electricity they had generated to 'catch' sequin fish, and then to repell a ping pong ball across the floor! (I'm sorry I didn't get any photos of this one - those ping pong balls are fast lol!)

My cadets definitely found hair generated the most static electricity!

Our third and final activity was Electric Artwork.  Our mission was to create a glowing-eyed creature - using copper tape and LEDs to make a circuit we could connect up.

We scanned a copy of the circuit template first, so the cadets could make one each (as we had enough LEDs left over from the Sparky Sculptures activity) and we had just about enough copper tape to complete two circuits -

DS decided he would make a Creeper (from Minecraft - obviously!) -

Unfortunately, one of his eyes wasn't working, and we couldn't replace it without risking tearing the delicate copper tape, as we had already taped it in place.  DS didn't mind, he still thought it looked cool.

DD made a vampire, with LEDs used from the previous experiment -

We did the activities on three separate days and spent an hour or less on each task.  The beauty of these challenges though are that the children can do as much or as little as they want.  For us, the kids spent almost an entire afternoon experimenting with making different electrical circuits through the conductive play-dough.  As the kit also included making insulating play-dough it meant their was something to keep bored hands busy while they were waiting. 

The fishing & ping pong ball chasing were great fun, and we sat down to write up our findings of those experiments.  You could do a graph, to show which materials caught what amount of fish, if you wanted to expand the experiment in to maths.  Or with a meter rule, measure how far you can repell the ping pong ball.

The electric artwork was fun as they could personalize it.  The copper tape is tricky but not off-puttingly so.

What I love most about The Curiosity Box is that it is all done for you! As a Home Educator it falls to me to cover as broad a range of subjects as I can, and I freely admit that science was not my strong suit at school!  I love that these boxes arrive at your door (or even fit through your letter box if you opt for the Nano boxes) which is exciting in itself for the kids.  But the real beauty is they can tear straight into them - the instructions even tell you whether you will need the box for the experiment or whether you can dive right into your creativity with that!

It was wonderful to have a whole host of activities to dip in to, whenever we fancied, that required no pre-prep, no set up, very minimal mess and tidying away.  What would probably be quite daunting in a busy school environment, is very accessible in these kits and whether you are Home Educating or not, the kids really enjoyed doing them.  My DD wanted to do the Electric Artwork at the weekend, in place of computer time!!  I don't think there is any higher praise I can give! xx

It's Not All Sunshine & Roses

On more than one occasion in the past, I have been accused of "perpetuating Social Media BS". That is to say, apparently deliberately propagating my 'feed' to create the illusion of a Perfect Life.

Conversely, there have been (many!) other occasions people have desired to tell me that I rant too much on Social Media, I say too much, I over share.

Happily for me, other people's opinions no longer rank highly on my list of Influences Over My Life Choices. In fact, beyond common decency and human kindness in general, they barely qualify at all.

But, none the less, this anomaly inspired me to write this particular post. 

We've had a really Good couple of days.  These were preceded by a really Bad couple of weeks - changing of the seasons has a huuuuuuuuge ripple effect on my two as their sensory sensitivity picks up even the most minute changes that you and I can just shrug off, if we even notice them at all.

This year I dug even deeper.  I took DD out on Friday night, to see Beauty & The Beast.  We went for dinner first at Pizza Hut - as this is acceptable to her, she likes the food there and the staff are nice.  So we had dinner, and the whole time she chatted to me about things her brother does that annoy her.  Believe me when I say I was not in the mood for this.  I wanted to be about a thousand miles away from the pair of them, who have been rubbing each other up the wrong way ceaselessly of late!  But, despite all the well not fine.  Obviously they are siblings, so discourse is a given, but the past couple of weeks have been tumultuous. So, I figured 'kill 'em with kindness'.  First I had a night out with DD, listening to her list of woes.  Then, the following day I sat with DS and did some Social Stories - trying to work through some of the feelings behind his actions, and to show him how those actions might 'feel' to other people.  Quite surprisingly (despite my terrible drawing!) he responded really, really well to this and was able to articulate (for the first time) that school had made him 'Big' because people did not understand his ways and he felt attacked a lot of the time.  So we were able to talk through this, and I was able to reassure him that Home Educated children are not like school children - they are more used to neurodiversity and they constantly have many, many adults around to help with any difficult social situations (something horrendously absent in the school playground - one or two overstretched dinner ladies between several hundred rampaging hordes......).  All this lead to a change in the tide, and we had a fairly peaceful Saturday with relative harmony restored.  And a lovely family trip out for the day on Sunday.

But of course that's not the whole story. 

Let's just look at the last two days.  Sunday we went out, on a planned trip, that we had done lots of preparation for - talking about, situation setting etc.  But DS did not want to go.  This is because at the weekend DS is allowed to play on electronics.  We only have a very limited amount - basically they have an original Nintendo DS each, with a couple of games, and Hubby & I each have Kindles - mine has Minecraft pocket edition on and his has a Star Wars game.  That is the total sum of electronics available and the kids are only allowed them on the weekends.  It's still enough for DS to obsess about.  So, although he was allowed to bring his DS on the train, his lightning fast brain was doing the math that he wouldn't get as much time as if he was at home......  So this caused the initial moaning resistance, the dragging of heels and general complaints of how life isn't fair because they are being 'made' to go out against their will.........

Fast forward to the station - all is well as it's DS time while we wait for the, unusually on time, train.  We find a table and 4 seats together and we're all set, peaceful journey while erstwhile passengers glance on judgily for us 'one of those' families who are all on electronics.  I smile inwardly, knowing this is the only waking break I've had all week......

DS happily ticks along, clicking & humming and we let if waft over us.  They are happy sounds.

And then we arrive at our station, mercifully the last stop.  Because it is then we discover that DS has not fastened the lid on his water bottle sufficiently and it had leaked (minimally I might add) is his bag.  For my poor pumpkin this is a full level crisis.  His bag is wet (damp) - the plastic wrapper of his sandwich has a few water droplets on, The World Is Wrong.......     It takes several minutes for us to leave the train - DH no use at all as he is trying to rationalize with DS, drying the sandwich wrapper and telling him 'it's fine'.   It's not the fine, the sandwich is not fine, the bag is not fine, his life is Not Fine. 

We are teetering on the brink of a full and final meltdown.  I dispose of the offending sandwich, soothing how 'rotten' that was to have happened when it was his 'best sandwich in the world' and that, although it doesn't fix things as his 'best sandwich is RUINED' his crisps and yoghurt and chocolates are dry.....   He gets a bit quieter, a bit stiller.  I place his DS and games safely in my Dry bag, so now it is only the Bag itself to contend with.  It does not FEEL wet but I know that does not mean it isn't Wrong.  We compromise on turning the bag inside out, so that the 'wet' will not touch his coat and the air can dry the inside of his bag. This way he can also feel the straps of his backpack still on him and know the bag is not gone.

We start to walk, slowly but surely. He holds my hand, the screaming has stopped, he is calm but vexed.  I wait, and walk slowly with him for a few moments, until I think he may be ready for distraction.  I count to 20 in my head, just a little longer, then, as we walk, I say (as casually as I can) "If you could be in Star Wars and you could have one vehicle, one weapon and one friend, what would you have?"   This is a familiar question, a safe question, a question he asks me A lot when he wants to have a conversation.   It's a risk, a gamble, but it pays off - he starts to reel off his choices and his reasons and I know we are back on safe ground and he is ok.  This has taken about 25 minutes.

We get our destination.  By and large it is ok.  He is happy with what he sees, DD less so - but she is quickly diverted with the offer of my camera and goes about obsessively clicking the shutter over and over.  After the first 50 or so blurred shots of the floor she settles to actually taking pictures.  This is Good.  It is safer to look at New Things through a lens.

Back to DS, we are having a wobble because he wanted to try on a helmet a  member of staff is proffering but she tells him he cannot, he can only hold it.  For a moment I stiffen, this could go either way.  The woman responds BRILLIANTLY.  "That's disappointing isn't it?  Shall I tell you where you can try one on?  I really like your hat, woud you like to feel this hat and see how heavy it feels...."  and DS unstiffens (as do I) and we are ok again. 

And this is how the trip continues.  It is a success, but it isn't an easy one.  The costumes they can try on feel 'wrong' - their skin itches, it is hot.  People don't say excuse me, they push ahead when my children are waiting - my children wait because those are the rules, so why don't other people?

We go to the café for a cup of tea and a sit down. It's closed,  So we go to the one on the other side of the venue, naturally it's packed.  DH has gone head to find a table and has successfully done so. But all the tables are for 6 or 8.  This means, other people sit with us.  Unfortuantely they are an elderly couple, clearly not familiary with 'this modern autism' - the woman is coughing all over my daughter, the man budges too far up and shoves my son, then tuts at him for asking for salt.  I want to smack her ignorant face.  I don't. I swap seats, so my body shields them both from the intrustion.  Neither of them will eat their chips now, I know that.  She has soured them with her coughing and her uninvited opinion on the salt.  So they sit and go cold on the plate.  We leave as soon as we can.  The children cope brilliantly to be honest.

One more exhibition then we take our leave. There's lots more to see but our time is up.

We escape outside where there is lovely open space and we have a drink and a snack by ourselves, on our own.  Then a play at the playground for lots of lovely sensory feedback before we make our way back to the station.  

There's a little bit of screaming and rocking from DS getting the lift, and an almighty scream that lets itself loose on the train, but otherwise we make it home eventfree.  DD is stroking her soft toy and buried in her Nintendo DS so she's managing fine. They both are, in their own ways.

Back at home DS now wants to start the day with the home electronics - so we have to go through the whole timeline that we have 'spent' the day and now there is no more of this particular day, because we did a Different Thing.  This is hard, we have cuddles and reassurance and we compromise with watching the movie we promised but no electronics.  Infact we give him the choice - he can watch the movie we promised or play electronics for an hour.  He chooses the film, because it's longer lol, but we are happy he understands he's had to make a choice.

DD is happy to watch the movie but will not sit on any of the sofa's because they feel wrong and other people may have sat on them and they may not be clean..... So she sits on the floor.  She is hungry but she is too tired to eat or chew (food is a massive issue for DD - the smells, textures, sight, chewing, swallowing - she finds it enormously fatiguing). I give her a couple of Mr Kipling fruit pies, and she wolfs those down. I insist on her drinking water with them.

We get to bed time, with all the prompting and help that comes with that.  DD takes her medication.  DS gets up out of bed on and off for about an hour an a half, before finally settling to sleep.  This is because, even on a Good Day, there is Delayed Processing and Prevasive Thoughts.

DD sleeps until 3.30am when she wakes with a nosebleed, because - spring = hayfever.  Possibly also delayed processing = compulsive nose rubbing/ repetitive behaviours.

Bed changed, child cleaned, washing machine on - reassurances issued, DD is back to bed, as am I.

So that's one day, one day of the two days I said we'd look at.  I think I will stop there as I'm guessing you get the idea?

And this was a Good Day, a Happy Day, a Win.

And yes, I post the photos of the good moments on social media. Because I love those good moments, I cherish them.  Probably more than most - because they are hard won.  My angels battle, through so very much, so very often, they more than deserve their smiles, their moments in the sun. Damn right I celebrate them!
And I do share about the other stuff.  I try to do so sensitively, because my children are growing, they do not want to be named, they do not want to feel 'shamed'.  They battle through their challenges valiantly and I respect their right to privacy.  They are happy for me to write this Blog, I have their consent, because they want me to share and educate and raise awareness and acceptance of Autism. That does not mean they want their challenges publicized word for word, with humiliating pictures. Like me, they want to celebrate their victories, their successes.

If people think that's fake in some way, so be it.  It's not.  Our lives are very, very real.  Maddeningly, Painfully, Frustratingly so at times.

So no it's not all sunshine and roses.  But when the sun does shine, you bet I'll be out taking pictures of those beautiful roses and sharing them with unashamed pride.

Book Review - Sun Kisses by Lynda Beaver

Just finished reviewing a lovely little book from first time author Lynda Beaver, Sun Kisses.



You can read my review on  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Sun-Kisses-Lynda-Beaver-ebook/

or on  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34098311-sun-kisses


Or right here 😊

What a lovely little story.

Straight from a Mother's heart to her child. Lovely illustrations and carefully chosen wording.

A beautiful story to share together, to be read aloud in celebration of a Mother's love but also this book should be in every school and nursery bookshelf too. At some point in our lives we all feel 'different' and there is always someone ready to point that out to us. Be it our Sun Kisses, or whatever else, this is a lovely life affirming story on an issue that all children will face at some point in their lives.


This book is currently available for Free Kindle Download on www.amazon.co.uk if you have a Kindle Unlimited account.

Russia Unit Study

So, as you'll know we have been studying Russia this past week, in preparation for our Home Ed Geography Club next week.

We did our own research from books and the library, but in collating resources for the group I found some fab FREE recipes, printables & worksheets that I wanted to share.

So here I have collated the learning resources we found and used for our recent Russia study.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-thornton/russian-tea-cakes-recipe

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/rachael-ray/red-radish-salad-recipe

http://www.ruscuisine.com/stories/traditions/n--38/

http://www.ruscuisine.com/recipes/mushroom/n--61/

http://www.passportmagazine.ru/article/257/MushroomHunting

https://www.worksheetworks.com/geography/europe/european-russia/word-search.html - this one is awesome because you can edit it to suit you, and still totally free!

http://www.hugolescargot.com/main/decoupages_pdf/273.pdf

http://www.makinglearningfun.com/Activities/RussianTheme/MatryoshkaDolls/MatryoshkaDoll-coloring.gif

http://www.makinglearningfun.com/Activities/RussianTheme/MatryoshkaDolls/MatryoshkaDoll-completedrawing.gif

http://dltk-kids.com/world/russia/martwork.htm

http://www.busybeekidscrafts.com/Space-Shuttle.html

http://www.brighthub.com/science/space/articles/95868.aspx

http://www.layers-of-learning.com/russia-fact-book/ - We didn't actually use this one ourselves but I wish we'd found it earlier as it's a great comprehensive start to the subject.

https://www.studenthandouts.com/geography/europe/eastern-europe/russia/russia-reading-a-map-geography-worksheet.htm

Hope you find them useful 😊

Recognising the Early Signs & Symptoms of Autism in Boys & Girls

Ok, so I decided it was time to write this post.

I have a son (DS 8) and daughter (DD 9) - both of whom are formally diagnosed as having Autistic Spectrum Disorder.  It was a long and difficult journey to get both of them diagnosed, and I sometimes forget, having been fighting so long,  what it was like at the beginning and that there are many of you out there still at the start of this journey, or wondering if, maybe, this might apply to your child.

So, I will do my best to help by giving as accurate information as I can recall from our own experience. There's so much more than I could ever hope to cover in one Blog post, but hopefully this is a helpful start for some of you.


My son was the first to receive diagnosis - but it took 3 years from the start of the referral/ investigation to actual diagnosis.

With my son, there were signs from the beginning. Signs I, at the time, didn't recognize. He was a bright, bubbly, engaging, bundle of fun.  He wasn't unresponsive. He wasn't unaffectionate.  But he was under-responsive to touch - he did not enjoy light touch, stroking, tenderness.  He liked to be held, firmly. He liked to be swaddled. He like to be picked up and carried, everywhere, always. 

His fine motor skills were ahead of his age.  Infact he ate ably with a knife and fork well before his contemporaries.  It was the same with crawling, standing, walking.  All milestones we proudly hit ahead of time.  But he never stopped moving. He never stopped sensory seeking.  He was always pulling himself up something, putting something in his mouth and he did rock, and he would pull himself to the doorways and sit and bang his head into the door frame repeatedly if you did not intervene.  He was never distressed, he seemed to crave the sensory feedback.

He was loud, he was a loud baby. He had a loud cry, he called out a lot, it was like he desperately had things to say.  But speech and language was a problem.  We started Baby Sign at a young age.  I say we started Baby Sign, actually we watched Mr Tumble and he saved our lives!! Through Justin Fletcher, we learned to communicate with our struggling toddler.  We had stock phrases we learned - "The squirrel is up the tree" and "the tractor is red".  When a meltdown occurred, we would say and sign these phrases together, and just the fact he was able to communicate SOMETHING and be understood, had a remarkably calming effect.

Justin Flectcher's Something Special also helped us with outings and holidays.  We basically watched and re-watched the episodes, as both the children loved and responded to the programme so well, and did what he did.  We hadn't realized, at the time, why going to new places - or indeed anywhere, ever - was such an issue. But it was, it really was.  But thanks to Mr Tumble and his going out & about, we recorded and watched and re-watched those episodes and went to the places he went so that there was familiarity for the kids and we could use the sign language he used to aid communication at those places.

So yes, there were signs, that we didn't recognize.

Another sign was that both our children only ever liked 'real life' TV programmes.  They were totally disinterested in animation of any kind until they were much, much older - I would say age 5 plus.  Prior to this, it was Something Special, I Can Cook and Chris & Pui.  Anything without real life situations would not spark their interest.  

My son did not sleep.  And I mean, at all, ever.  The only time he napped is if he feel asleep on a feed. If he didn't, you could forget it!  As he got a little older, he would only motion sleep - in the pushchair, in the car, physically being rocked.  Once he was asleep you could not transfer him.  I used to watch friends, enviably, move their sleeping infants and tots and put them down in their cots for an hour.  How did they do this???  I remember my mother, and the health visitor, telling me I was doing it all wrong.  I remember being told to try controlled crying. It didn't work. I remember my mother coming and taking the baby, my son, from me one morning and trying to show me how to 'do it properly and not get myself in such a state'.   Four hours later, a broken woman, she came back down the stairs and asked me where my 'f***ing pushchair' was!  At least I knew then it wasn't me!

As he got a little older, toddler age, he was a joy. Totally happy to play for hours at your feet - any kind of sensory play - water, sand, mud, toy kitchen etc.  But he did not, could not, play with other children.  He didn't go through the terrible twos. He didn't push, snatch, bite like the others.  He couldn't understand why they did. It never occurred to him to take a toy off another child, or push ahead on the slide. Why would you?  And I watched, heartbreaking, his perplexed little face when others did it to him.

He had a whole and varied vocabulary but he needed me to translate everything for him, as I was the only one who understood it. In time, when he joined pre-school, he was referred to Speech & Language.  They worked with him on his sounds.  They immediately saw that he could not make eye contact, that he was distracted, that he did not recognize facial expressions and that he could not correctly sequence orders of events.  This SHOULD have been their cue to refer him for paediatric investigation (I didn't know that then).  They failed.  They gave me the details of a SEN website to look at and sent us away after 6 weeks when he could pronounce his g's 😖😖

At pre-school his key worker saw all I saw, but simply could not get her superiors to agree to refer him.  So I brought him in, kicking and screaming, day after day.  She would settle him, he would come home and it would all come tumbling out.  He would bang his head until his nose bled, he couldn't sleep, he would bed wet and cling and cry.

There were other signs.  Sensory issues with clothes. He would only wear stuff he could pull on or off. No buttons, zips or labels.  For over a year he wore the same Spiderman costume every day - like a giant security blanket protecting him from a world so loud and confusing.

He would choke when he ate - he would overfill his mouth to the point of choking.  He lost the ability to use a knife and fork and began to eat with his hands.  He could not recognize hot temperatures so would burn himself on food.

He had an utter disregard for safety - particularly around water. 

He would wander.

He would constantly have his back to you.  He would never respond to you calling his name.

He was tested for glue ear. Given gromets.

His eyes were tested. He was given glasses.

His kidneys were investigated. It was found he has a mild kidney condition so the bed wetting was to be expected.

He cried, a lot.  He complained of headaches and stomach aches, constantly.

He misjudged distances and frequently walked in to doors etc.  Similarly he would hold on to things all the time he walked around the house and complained of feeling like he was falling.

He cried, a lot.

He had physiotherapy intervention for 4 years for his hypermobility.  Eventually his, very excellent, physiotherapist signed him off - with a referral saying in her opinion there was more to investigate and that his issues were likely more due to ASD, ADHD or dyspraxia - or a combination of the three.  Her advice and request for referral was ignored.

He cried, a lot.

We started mainstream school.   All of the above issues, and more, continued.  As soon as he started school he was placed on School Action plus - I wasn't told.  He had daily 1-2-1 intervention to help with his speech and language and social understanding. I wasn't told.  I was told he was a good boy, a nice boy, a caring boy, obedient, sweet, kind.  He was, he is.

He cried, a lot.

The bullying started.  Other kids quickly realized he didn't understand the social order of things. He had trouble distinguishing between friend and foe, and what was social play and banter and when he was actually at risk.  I did start to get telephone calls - he had been hit in the privates, every lunch time 3 weeks in a row by the same boy.  Another boy had ripped his coat in half.  That same boy tore up a 3D pirate ship my son made in class - they praised my son for not reacting and for picking up another sheet of paper and starting a new one.  I died a little inside.  I cried, a lot.

Next his trousers were pulled down in the toilets - I didn't get a phone call about this, though the other mother did, and apologized profusely to me in the playground.   Some other boys held him down and stamped on his stomach and neck.  I went to the Head. 

And all the time he cried, a lot. He begged me to keep him at home.  I wanted to. I started to.  He had more and more time off sick with the headaches and the stomach aches.  We went back and forth to the GP who fired off endless referrals with seemingly endless rebuffles.  He spoke candidly to me, he could see the autism as clear as I could and his frustration almost matched mine at times.

Finally, he fired off a referral to a neurological specialist, in utter desperation for someone to help us.  He got a formal 'rap over the knuckles' and told to desist in these referrals. That the school said my son was fine and, after all, the school should know.....

So I sought a private referral.  I spoke at length to the National Autistic Society and the Dyspraxia Foundation.  I took him to have a private Occupational Therapy assessment - at a cost of over one thousand pounds.  With all this evidence, I managed to secure a private assessment.  The crunch?  It was going to cost three thousand pounds.

I cried, a lot.

I spoke to friends, considered Crowd Funding, looked at extending the mortgage, getting a loan.  An old school friend signed himself & his wife up to run a half marathon to raise money through sponsorship.  Would it be enough?

So I contacted the school - I asked how much of my son's Pupil Premium they would be prepared to allocate towards the assessment, since they were not using it to meet his needs at school.  I contacted the NHS direct and asked them how much of the private assessment they would fund, since the NHS had failed us.  My GP threw himself back in to the fray, not without risk to himself as he had been warned to desist in helping us.

I rallied, a lot.

And the combined force of all of the above, with a dogged refusal to Go Quietly Into That Good Night, resulted in an appointment with the paediatric developmental team at our local hospital.

This took 2 months.  After, basically, his entire life already.  He was 6 years old.

At the initial appointment the Doctor placated and fobbed off, but despite the lack of supporting paperwork from the school, I refused to leave the doctors office until they agreed, in writing, to assess him.  Reluctantly, they agreed.

In the meantime, my son suffered a catastrophic meltdown at his sports day.  I asked to take him home, and the Teaching Assistant from the class actually physically pulled him away from me, mid-meltdown.  Calmly, oh so calmly, I told her to take her hands off my son and I would not pursue her dismissal.  Then I carried my now barely breathing son to the office to get his inhalers, as he had gone in to a full on asthma attack.  I walked right by the Head and Assistant Head and they did not even help open the door.   I was refused access to the classroom.  I lay him down and tilted his head back in an attempt to allow air in to his lungs.  Another TA who knew us happened to pass through the reception area - she saw us, saw immediately what was happening and had his inhalers to us within seconds.  I think she may have saved his life.   I removed him from school after this.  This was July 2015.  In September 2015 he finally had a formal ADOS assessment on the NHS and was diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder.  At the assessment itself he scored 18/20 which means he is severely impacted by his autism.  The autism they'd all said he didn't have.

We were given a leaflet and sent away to get on with our lives.


And so to my daughter.  I also removed her from school at the same time.  She had had issues at school but it was assumed they were behavioural.  She was a very intelligent and highly verbal child.  She was on the Gifted & Talented register for every single subject, but she struggled so much socially.  She was a bright and engaging child, who was always the first invited to tea or parties - but friendships would quickly peeter out and I was frequently called to the school over incidents of lying or alleged incidents with other children.

I took her out of school because she wanted to come out. She was tired, she was burdened. She had meltdowns all the time. The rages at home were immense.  The battles over home work, getting dressed, anything - you name it.  She was broken.  She felt nothing she did was good enough and that, in some way, she was just wrong.   She was 7 years old.

Taking her out of school was quite simply THE BEST thing I ever did.  It stripped back all the external influences and I was able to see for the first time that maybe, just maybe she was struggling too.   Her autism definitely wasn't the same Colour as DS's but it started to occur to me there were signs.

The friendships - she is great at mimicking social situations, and has a wonderful 'bank' of learned phrases.  These should not be confused with genuine social interaction or understanding as once they are used up, she flounders - often becoming aggressive as she becomes more lost and exposed.

Once this clicked, I started looking at autism in girls, autism in siblings, PDA.  Oh my God, it was all there!  It wasn't me, I wasn't a bad parent, it was all there.

I started to think back to early childhood signs I'd just missed -

Eating.  Oh my Lord the issues with eating.  Even now food must be dry, separate on the plate, only certain colours, nothing wet, no sauces (except ketchup!) - must have a strong taste, ideally sweet.

Sensory Issues - totally unable to dress herself, appropriately, ever.  Could not distinguish between hot and cold. Intense dislike of certain textures against her skin. Unable to tolerate labels or buttons. Or socks!! Socks were crushing her feet, apparently, and felt crunchy.  The rages we used to have getting ready for school - and the utter confusion when we moved to Home Schooling and she simply could not choose appropriate clothing to wear.

Sensitivity to noise and light.

Unable to sustain eye contact but great at masking it.  Would blink, increased fidget, or lift her hand to shade her eyes and say the sun was in her eyes.

Forgetting how to do stuff.  Tasks she had previously managed with ease.  Or simple things like smiling. She forgot how to smile for a long time and would get extremely angry and agitate over this.

Talking in great streams rather than conversation. Repeating the same conversations over, and over, and over, and over.

Lining up and ordering her toys rather than playing with them.

Writing lists, lots of lists.

Saying NO - a lot!!

Bath time - oh dear Lord I don't even want to talk about bathtimes.  Hell in a bathtub!

So sensory seeking, all the time

Walks on tiptoes, runs EVERYWHERE

Total and utter disregard for safety and boundaries of any kind

Unaware of physical proximity - from the youngest age my daughter would never walk around stuff. If there was an obstacle in her direct path - a book or toy on the floor - she would just walk over it, as if she hadn't noticed she was there.  This became worse as she got older as she would literally walk in to physical obstacles in her path, including people, as if she was totally unaware they were there.

She walks backwards, all the time!


As I started to look back, so many things began to click in to place.  So, I went back to my GP and said "I think we have another one."   He took a very deep breath, bless him, and agreed.  But this time we were referred to CAMHS.  It took 6 months for that appointment to come through - and I'm convinced that the only reason it actually did is that she put a plastic bag over her head in her bedroom so I called the crisis line.   This was not a deliberate act to harm herself but a terrifying act of utter unawareness.  She had asked for a bin bag to tidy her room and when I went upstairs a few minutes later she had climbed in to the bag and was trying to do it up behind her.  Now we had talked about suffocation numerous times, but in her quest for sensory stimulation she had wondered what it would FEEL like, so with no thought for her safety or consequences, aged 9 years old and on the Gifted & Talented register, she climbed head first in to a plastic bag!

I shook, a lot.

The crisis line at CAMHS did indeed concede that this was now a crisis.  This pushed us up the list and we were seen a few weeks later for an initial consultation. 

It was still an enormous battle as, despite all my evidence, the GP evidence, the fact my daughter had already been under CAMHS for 18 months previously, the fact she was not in school was a sticking point for them. They had no precedent, the argued. The correct paperwork wasn't there, they couldn't tick their boxes.  So for weeks I argued, fought, bounced back.  I called them every Thursday for 3 months. After 3 months I said I would start coming to the offices every Thursday.  They knew I meant it.  We finally got referred for an ADOS.  The appointment came through for December (having received the initial referral in February). 

I talked it all through with my daughter, whom I had been very open with.   I explained that she had beautiful blue eyes. That she was born with blue eyes, that her blue eyes were part of what made her her.  I told her that despite this, we needed to go and sit in a room with two doctors who would look at her and say "Hmmmm, yes, I see it says here you think your daughter's eyes are blue.  Well, they look blue to me, would you say they look blue?"  And that both these doctors would look at all the papers I'd gathered from people who had seen your blue eyes and they would nod and make notes and ask her to do some tasks and then, eventually, they would say "Well yes, you're right, her eyes are indeed blue."   And we would smile, knowingly, take the second leaflet, the same as the first, and go and get on with out lives.

And that is exactly what we have done.

A Week in the Life

I suspect this may not be one of my All Time Top 10 Posts, not least because I am two glasses in to a bottle of wine we brought back from Portugal... 😄😄  None the less here's a round up of our Home Ed week this week.

I was asked recently - Wednesday actually, by the same checkout cashier that asked me if my Autistic kids had been vaccinated, but that's a whole other story! - how many hours I spend a week teaching my children? 

Erm....... all of them?  Or at least all the waking ones.  Whether I want to or not.  They are learning from me every moment we are awake - directly or indirectly.  But in terms of structured learning?  Honestly, I don't measure.  For example DD spent 2 hours today working on a craft project, totally self motivated. Do I class that as learning time? Play? Leisure time?  Well, it's all of them.  When you elect to Home Educate a much freer world opens itself up to you.  You can ebb and flow like the tide, as the mood takes you. Over time we've all settled more in to our natural rhythms and these now govern our days.

So, this week, Monday I to call on a couple of friends to come and take care of the kids as I had some important family things to do.  This, in itself, was a huge thing for the kids - as it involved 2 different people coming to look after them, for most of the afternoon and early evening.  So I didn't set them any work, but left our What Next Box? for if they were stuck for ideas, the Lego box, lots of games and a selection of books to help them make good choices.  They played with the first friend's baby then took to their rooms to read 2 Goosebumps books together (DD reading aloud to DS) and do Lego.  With the second friend that came to take over they played a number of strategic and mathematical board games through the afternoon -

On Tuesday we had a very low key, to allow them both time to process the change in routine from the previous day. We read lots of chapters of the David Walliams book (Grandpa's Great Escape) we are reading at the moment, and just hung out together, cuddled, snuggled and reconnected. Oh, and of course we made & ate pancakes, pancakes and more pancakes!

On Wednesday we were on that World Book Day mission for, of all things, a school uniform for DD who wanted to dress up as Ginny Weasley from The Chamber of Secrets.  So we popped to the library while we were in town, and also posted DD's entry to the Royal Mail Christmas Stamp Competition (See more here - http://www.royalmail.com/stampcompetition) that she has been working so hard on -

And she really did work so hard on this. She planned what she was going to draw, did multiple drafts, even a colour guide before deciding on the final version.

We stopped off at the library to return a load of books DD had finished with and then did a bunch of errands and the weekly shop.  When we got home we read together and made Blox for our model garden we are working on -

Oh and we did a few improvements to our Fairy Garden too -

On Thursday the kids had Gymnastics at a big Home Ed class they go to.  DD loves it, although DS chose to sit out a couple of terms he has now decided to start up again so he was quite anxious about that, but it all went smoothly and there was no major fall out in terms of delayed processing.

Afterwards we hung out with friends and ate lunch together, then headed over to another library with friends. They were doing some work on some projects and DD & DS just read and chose even more books to borrow!  When we got home, as you can imagine, the rest of the day was spent reading, reading and more reading! And DS decided he would try his hand at making movies -

On Friday played some board games together -

We find games are a great way to stealth learn :-)  Not only are you learning the actual subject matter of the games, but many other valuable skills as well - patience, turn taking, encouraging one another, tactical planning, being gracious in defeat!! Genuine and important life skills :-)

And after lunch we headed off to a Home Ed World Book Day party some friends had organized.  It was wonderful to see all the kids dressed up, clutching their favourite stories.  DD went as Ginny Weasley and DS eventually conceded to be Robin Hood as it meant he could take his bow (but not arrows, as apparently they have all mysteriously got lost in the bush at the bottom of the garden........)

In total there were 2 Ginny Weasleys, a Harry Potter, TinTin, The White Rabbit & Alice, Milly Molly Mandy, Annabeth & Percy Jackson, Mildred Hubble, Klaus (from A Series of Unfortunate Events), the Giraffe (from The Girraffe & Pelly & Me), 2 BFGs and a Borrower. Oh and a Cyclops and Professor McGonagall! All the children got up on the stage at the front of the hall and told everyone about their character and why they had chosen the book they had.  Afterwards there were several tables of activities laid out for the children to pick and choose from including Story Cubes & HeadBandz, making 3D corner bookmarks and pop up bookmarks, character write up sheets and drawing, and a craft table for making your book characters.

The children all had so much fun, working, sharing, learning and playing together.

Then Friday evening the kids had their club at a nearby church, for children aged 7-10.  This week it was an egg breaking competition as well as Bible stories and activities.  They really enjoy this club and it is something they are able to do independently, which is an actual real Godsend for us as the volunteers that run it are able to understand and work with the children's additional needs and be inclusive.

Oh, and in case you're wondering where we get all our wonderful resources from - Charity Shops!  Charity Shops, Car Boot sales, Amazon & Wilko's. And Poundland!  It's true that you can Home Educate on any budget - with no curriculum to follow you are free to make use of bargains, offers, freebies, off-peak, end of season and so on. So the sky really is the limit.

So, in my bid this year to re-discover a bit of Me, one of the things I have ventured into the world of Book Reviewing.

Historically, I did my degree in English Literature & Theology so I feel a bit like I am returning to my roots (although my university professors would probably question how much actual reading I did in those days 😂😁).  But we are definitely a book loving family.  We are all avid readers, with very varied tastes! And I have always read to, and with, the children daily.

So, this week I have been reading It's Okay, I'm Watching (Book 1 of the Grief Series by Chenee' Gilbert Ed D).  The book is aimed at 9-13 year olds and addresses the emotional topics of grief and adolescence.

I have reviewed the book both on https://www.amazon.co.uk

This review is from: It's Okay, I'm Watching (Dear Grief Series Book 1) (Kindle Edition)

This book is carefully, methodically and matter-of-factly written. A difficult subject matter to tackle, it is well adapted to the age of the target reader.

I feel this book would be a great classroom resource. The fact the chapters are punctuated by great discussion questions is the real wow-factor of this book. It would be a great tool to aid exploration into the subjects of grief and growing up in a group or 1-2-1 setting.

The author is careful not to overload the reader with too much emotion from the outset. She captures the starkness and matter-of-factness that are a very real part of the grieving process, and gradually unravels the many subsequent layers of that process.

This book is written very specifically from one cultural viewpoint, and there is no explanation of that, which at first made it difficult to relate to, but the author opens the questions at the end of each chapter so seamlessly that it becomes more globally accessible the further you read, so do persevere because the author expertly addresses issues which affect us all.

I think every school and doctors office should have a copy of this book available to young people experiencing, or supporting someone who is experiencing, grief while growing up.

And also on https://www.goodreads.com/review

It's Okay, I'm Watching (Dear Grief Series Book 1) by Dr. Chenee' Gilbert

     

Blogging Mama's review

             

I think this book would be a great classroom resource and should definitely be in the collection of any professional working with young people.

It is a clinical book, not a story book. That said, it is well written and each chapter flows easily into the clever discussion questions that punctuate each chapter.

Written specifically from one cultural viewpoint, that the author presumes you are familiar with, made it a little difficult to get in to but once you reach the questions it becomes much more open, accessible and relatable.

I liked how the author tackled the issues of grief and adolescence simultaneously and there were some beautifully tender moments when the main character is writing her journal to her mother.

Filled with vivid scenes of everyday family life, this book will leave you pondering your own upbringing and reflecting on the traditions and interactions that have shaped your own life.

Poignant, intelligent, factual and honest. Recommended for those with an interest in the subject matter.

I also had a personal interest in reading this book, as I have a 9 year old daughter myself, and an 8 year old son.  And, sadly, one day they are going to encounter grief themselves - as it is part of all our lives.  They are also on the threshold of adolescence, so I will definitely be keeping this book close to hand for when they are a little older and as, and when, these subjects arise in their lives - either directly or through the experiences of their friends and peers.