Tuesday, 27 September 2016

There are some days you feel you could conquer the world, and others where you feel the world has conquered you.  Today falls in the latter category.

It's been a difficult few days. DS hasn't been at his best - we're back to bed wetting (to the extent of having to buy another new mattress yesterday - and yes we have mattress protectors!),  tonnes of yelping and stimming and yesterday saw the resurgence of head banging (which we've not had for a loooooooong time).  Through it all there have been highs amongst the lows and, as always, the incredible love I have for these children keeps me going.

Today, amongst other 'highlights' we've enjoyed a trip to A&E to get a glass wound to the hand checked out.  That was once the screaming stopped.  Oh God the screaming!!!  No one can scream like DS can scream when he is hurt and afraid, it is truly apoplectic. When DS hurts himself, it is like trying to contain and aid a hurricane. The force absolutely batters you but you must continue, directly in to the eye of the storm, because you must bring it to safety.

I can't tell you how long it took to get his hand under the tap, how long the screaming continued, how much blood there was on the floor, how wonderfully matter-of-factly DD fetched his inhaler and a bathroom towel or how we managed to get to the car.  I can tell you how unutterably grateful I was that today was one of the days I have the car as DH has cycled to work. And I can tell you how grateful I was that we live close to a hospital with an A&E!

By the time we got to the hospital DS was quiet as a lamb and taking it all in his stride. Thankfully there was no glass stuck in his hand, so a good clean out and checks for nerve or tendon damage and we were taped up and good to go.

Anyone who has a child with delayed processing knows this is by no means the end of the story............

The hospital staff all praised him for his bravery and how calm he was being, and Mummy nodded agreeably, knowing that in reality she will not be able to sleep in her own bed for at least a week now and that we will re-live this scenario in EVERY SINGLE DETAIL literally countless times a day for however long it takes for him to process this. There's no speed up, no amount of reassurance, no diversion tactic that will fix this. And this is the bit I find hardest - the aftermath of the storm - that there is no comfort I can give that is a comfort, no amount of love and patience that is enough. I can only sit with him and share his pain and confusion until it subsides, eventually.

And then I can get back to conquering the world xxxxxx

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