India Study with FREE resource links

So today we had our fab Home Ed Geography Club and the country of the month was India.

DD did her project on a whole variety of things.  All self-researched from books.  So proud she did it all by herself this month, with no help or prompting!  She focused predominantly on the Taj Mahal but also with a variety history, nature and geography as well -

DS and I read a book of Indian Myths together and he talked about his favourite one, The Birth of Indra.  And also he talked about the various Indian Gods.  He also made the Indian flag and talked about the origins of that.

As always, the work produced by all the children for their Show & Tells was vivid and varied. Almost all the children stood up to present their work, and those that didn't added their contributions to the Sharing Table -

After the children had finished their presentations, we moved to our regular activities.  Of course we had our food tasting -

We had homemade daal, cumin fried paneer, not homemade naan bread & not home made Indian sweets (not pictured)! I was amazed that all the daal got eaten (& a little disappointed as I was kinda hoping the have the left overs for dinner ha ha).


We had a table for colouring and games -

This month I got our colouring pages from -

http://www.supercoloring.com/coloring-pages/flag-of-india

http://www.supercoloring.com/coloring-pages/indian-woman-in-sari

http://www.supercoloring.com/coloring-pages/indian-rangoli-with-elephant

https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/cka/World-Traveler-Coloring-Book-Heritage-Design-Originals/157421960X

In addition to this we had our A-Z table - where everyone works collaboratively to try and collate an A-Z of the country of the month.  This is a great was to consolidate and reinforce our learning - and all it requires is a few pens and a large sheet of paper (we use rolls of lining paper).  This month we couldn't think of an F, Q, U or V!

Instead of a craft this month, me and another parent brought along a few games.  We used several but the most popular two were -

http://www.argos.co.uk/BrainBoxTheWorld

https://www.tesco.com/direct/flags-of-the-world-family-game

And finally we had a table of worksheets, for those that wanted them.  This month, I used the fabulous resources I found on -

http://www.3dgeography.co.uk/india-worksheets

The greatest success for me, as always, was seeing the children learn together and really engage in the learning activities.  They listened beautifully to each others presentations and are always really respectful of each others efforts. 

My personal highlight, even beyond their presentations, was that my two, DS especially - who struggles ENORMOUSLY in anything beyond a 1-2-1 environment - were both able to sit down and complete various games and activities - including actually finishing complete colouring pages (this is nothing short of a miracle for these two) -

Busting 8 Home Education Myths

Currently, in the UK, the law regarding the education of your child states you must make a provision for the full time education of your child.  There is a great deal of freedom (hurrah!) in how you choose to do this. Unless your child has an EHCP/ Statement of Educational Needs - in which case you will need to prove you are fulfilling this statement.

But other than that - No, 'they' do not give us a curriculum.

No, 'they' do not monitor & test us - though we can chose to work with the Elective Home Education department if we wish to.

So, given I made a series of Tweets yesterday on #HomeEducation Questions I Have Enjoyed Fielding This Week 😁 I thought I would write a post about Popular Myths & Questions people (sometimes aggressively!) have about Home Education.

Firstly, here in the UK there is a difference in the community between Home Education and Home Schooling.  In the UK it is recognized that if you are Home Schooling, then you are formally teaching your children at home - with a curriculum (of your own design) and lessons and so forth.  Home Educating families however are educating, as opposed to teaching - so this is more about facilitating your child's learning through a variety of mediums and can include self led learning and elements of more formal learning.  Unschooling is child-centered learning - entirely child led, without structure or constraints.

I tend to use a combination of Home Education & Home Schooling, so I will use both terms.

So here are some of the questions I/ we are FREQUENTLY asked -

#1  Is it legal? 

Yes, see above legal definition.


#2  But they give you a curriculum to follow right? What about The Curriculum??

Ok, brace yourselves - the curriculum is not A Thing. It's not the law. It has no scientific foundation. It is not a formula for a 'correct' human being.

The curriculum changes frequently - usually as frequently as the Education Secretary (who often has no training or formal experience in Education....) - and often more frequently than that.

The curriculum varies regionally and often from school to school. There is huge scope within the curriculum - it is not a checklist.  So the school next to your school may be interpreting the curriculum vastly differently to your child's school.  And when your child reaches senior school, what they learn for their GCSEs will depend upon which Exam Board your chosen school is using.  What your child can take as GCSE subjects will also vary according to the individual school's timetabling policy.

The curriculum has a hugely political agenda.  I want my children to learn, freely.  I want them to make their own judgements and nurture their own interests and work ethics.  I do not want them to attend Citizenship classes (shudder!) or have Religious Education forced upon them.  I also don't want them to sit in endless, mind-numbing assemblies, watching the clock and longing to be doing something more constructive with their time.

Finally, when I served as a Parent Governor at my children's former school, I attended a day long meeting (on a Saturday!) about the 'new' curriculum.  Highlights included that foreign languages had been removed from the curriculum (at the time) for Early Years (so ages 4-7).  And the entire continent of Asia had been removed from the curriculum (I kid you not!)  - Geography was to include Europe & Africa only.  Hmmmmmmm! Helpful.  These were just a couple of 'highlights' that stood out to me - along with the aforementioned (shudder again) Citizenship Classes.

So, in conclusion, don't set your store in 'The Curriculum' - it's like a wave. Teach your children to ride it, surf it, navigate their way around it but it is a transient thing, not a concrete foundation.  Knowledge is power, not 'the curriculum'.


#3 (Usually in response to my answers to #2)  So you're a teacher then are you?

Sigh!  No, I am not a teacher.  I do have 9 GCSEs, 3 A levels & a BA Hons degree in English Literature & Theology if that makes you feel better.  But similarly I know fantastic Home Ed parents with no 'school' qualifications at all.  Qualifications simply reflect your opportunities, not your intelligence.

As an aside, I originally went to University to do a teaching degree. My whole life I had wanted to be a primary school teacher (insert here 'narrow world view').   Almost as soon as I arrived and begun my teaching practice my heart broke in two - as I realized so very many people are in it for the wrong, wrong reasons. It's not about the child. It's not even about facilitating their learning.  It's about stats. It's about League Tables. It's about bums on seats and conformity at all costs. I realized quickly it was not for me. I would be in for a lifetime of fighting battles & injustices and having no life of my own raging against a system that was fundamentally wrong.  So I swapped to an academic degree instead.

However, back to the issue of teaching.  What makes you think you need to be a qualified teacher to teach your own child?  Did a health visitor potty train them for you? Did you need a host of 'professionals' to teach you how to feed, clothe and care for your child thus far?  No, you taught them.  Sure there are 'experts' - there are forums, books, lectures you can go to.  Same in Home Ed - there's an enormous community out there and a wealth of resources. You are not on your own just because you are not in school.  We use a lot of the exact same resources your teachers are using in the classroom. We're allowed to you know 😏

We are also in the BEST POSSIBLE POSITION to discipline our children - as we are there 24/7.  We get a consistent picture of our children's behavior, their issues, their struggles & challenges.  Who can say that when they are away from their child 6-8 hours, often more, a day?   Many parents report their child acting completely differently at school versus at home.  As Home Educators we see all our children's behavior - and can intervene fairly and frequently, giving them the consistency they need to form healthy attachments, confidence and self esteem.


#4  Do you get them tested?

For what?  Diseases?? 

Do I measure their academic progress?  Not any more.  I did at the beginning, but then I realized how futile and counterproductive that is. 

My goal is not to achieve anything specific.  I want happy, healthy, mentally strong kids who will become well rounded, happy, responsible, considerate, motivated adults.  I teach them to learn.  To like themselves. To pursue their passions and interests.  I facilitate their learning by teaching them the tools to study - how to use the dictionary, the thesaurus, reference books, indexes.  How to cross reference to ensure the information they find is accurate.  We use computers (less than we use books) but they know how to search, word process and programme on Scratch.  Some subjects we cover are my choice, some theirs.  Their natural direction will, and is, emerging as they have the space and time to explore and spread their wings.


#5  How do you meet both their needs appropriately?

Erm...... you know there's WAY more than 2 kids in a classroom right?????

And you know that because they are of similar age (12 month range) they are by no means at the same level - you probably have an academic ability range of at least 2-3 years in any one 12 month age range classroom.

So, yeah, I'll just leave that there. It's a no-brainer.


#6  But what about socialization?

😄😄😄😄😄😄

Ok, serious hat back on.  I'll be honest. DS has struggled more with this.  He had 3 really super best friends at school (whom he still considers to be his best friends, and whom we continue to keep up with and see).  He has plenty of friends in the HE community but, thus far, he hasn't gelled with any one in particular.  Although, recently, it is starting to come as the realization finally sinks in that his friends do not have to be boys, and they do not have to be the same age as him.  He really gets on with one particular boy in our Learning Cooperative, who is 5 years old.  They are great buds.  And the friendship between him and the younger brother of DD's bestie is also flourishing.  It just wasn't as instant as these 3 boys at school (although to be honest, that was only after he'd been moved classes as he simply wasn't settling in the class they originally put him in - so school didn't have a magic formula either).

DD, however, has blossomed friendship wise.  She has come to really know herself and be comfortable in her own skin rather than seeking the approval of peers.  Naturally, this means she forms better, closer, more meaningful friendships.  She no longer feels the need to be one of the crowd, to wear what she's wearing, do what she does.  She is her own person, and socializes as she feels the desire - rather than being trapped in a cacophony of noise, chaos and confusion and calling it socialization.

And my own personal bug bear - as I've said, I want my kids to learn to be happy, healthy, motivated, emotionally and mentally strong adults. They are not, and never were, going to learn this at the mercy of 29 inadequately supervised 6 year olds. Just aaaaaargh!

My kids both do gymnastics weekly with a huge Home Ed class, and we usually hang around for lunch and games with various friends after. 

We run a monthly Geography Club, with about 18 other kids, and a monthly Learning Cooperative with 3 other families (7 kids in total).  So they do regular learning alongside other children and the ages range from 5-12 with all the children working at their own level.

In addition to this, we go to Home Ed Sports Club, had a Sport Relief day, are attending a World Book Day party, done Creative Writing workshops, Cake Decorating, Horse Riding - all with groups of other Home Educated children.

My DD recently decided she wanted to audition for a show!  Completely off her own back she learnt a written piece, a song & a dance and auditioned.  I thought she would have no chance - not having come from a dance school or drama group - but she got in!  So she'll be attending weekly rehearsals for that now and make lots of new friends doing so. 

She's also doing a PGL adventure holiday this year with a Home Ed group.  So she's having all the same social opportunities as her peers.  She simply gets to be more selective, which is a truer reflection of real life I think.

Which leads me on to -

#7  What about bullying?  How are you teaching them to stand up for themselves in the real world?

Hmmmm, firstly, what a lovely accolade for school that is!  What aren't you sending them in to the lions den??

Erm.... because we would rather walk around the lions den thanks!  We see it. We're not sheltered from it. We simply choose not to tolerate it.  

I absolutely do teach my children about bullying, they know how to appropriately stand up for themselves, how to deal with problems that escalate, peer pressure etc  But they have Real Life choices.  They do not have to spend 6 1/2 hours a day in a room with their bully. (Would we, as adults?  No, we'd go to HR or look for another job - we have CHOICES).  Similarly, they don't have to spend 6 1/2 hours a day playing second fiddle to the teachers favourite (and there nearly always is one).  They can be who they are and they have confidence in that and in their decisions and choices, therefore they are less concerned with bullying as they are not trying to fit in and be accepted by their peers. Hurrah!  How many of us wish we'd learnt that lesson and been that self-assured at their age?  I wish I had!


#8  Well, that's all fine for now isn't it, but what about their futures?

Oh my God - really????

Have you seen the stats on school leavers achieving gainful employment or further education??  It's not the gateway you seem to think it is.

Home Educated children can still sit all the same exams your schooled children can.  In fact probably more, because they have the flexibility to genuinely choose their options, without limitations.

Is it expensive?  Yes, but so is school and uniforms, and equipment, and travel, and residential and day trips, and activities and so on, and so on.  You budget and plan accordingly.

And yes, Home Educated children can still go to college or university. And honestly, are often better placed to cope with it, as they are already successful self-motivated learners - something which school leavers aren't necessarily.

They can also seek employment. Most employers will do aptitude tests or similar.  It really does become a level playing field again after school.  Home Educated children are not disadvantaged in any way.  In fact they probably already have a better idea of what they want to do with their lives and are someway towards achieving that goal already - simply because of the flexibility they have with their learning.


For far too long I've used my children's Special Needs as an 'excuse' for Home Educating (it certainly was a big part of the reason for making the jump) but truthfully we would be on this path regardless as I love the children I am raising. I love their individuality. I love that they are wholly confident in who they are.  I love that they have freedom, and confidence, and a real zest for life.  They are never bored - because they are not relying on a system to spoon feed and institutionalize them.  They have so many life skills, and so many friends.   This simply would not have happened for us in school. 

Is or has?

I see a lot of posts on social media that spark the inner-debate in me over how you describe/ introduce your child's special needs.  Do you say "John HAS autism" or "John IS autistic". (Btw, my son's name is not John).

Of course there is no right or wrong (I don't think), it's personal choice.

But so as not to cause offence to those with autism, tirelessly campaigning for acceptance and challenging ignorance and stereotypes, I wanted to explain why I use IS not HAS.

My children both have autism, they are both autistic.  I imagine, as I have not given it an enormous amount of thought previously, that I have on occasion used a mixture of has and is.  With DS I think I have always said he IS autistic.  Because, for me, he is.  Infact I've been saying it alot longer than he's been diagnosed. Because it is a simple matter of fact. He absolutely IS.

He is also a boy. He is also 8 years old. He is also tall for his age.  To me, these are things he is.  That doesn't mean they define him.  He is a boy - so what?  He can dress as a princess, wear nail varnish, play cars, trains, build, dig in the mud, obsess about Minecraft, paint, bake cakes, sing - his boyness doesn't define him or limit his choices in any way. But biologically speaking he is a boy. Fact.

Similarly, he IS 8 years old.  What does that mean?  We have a multitude of charts and scales that tell us what an average (ha!) 8 year old should/ could do.  Some are chess champions, some are struggling with CVC words still, some can read Harry Potter (thinking of my DD!) while others cannot ride a bike. Others can swim lengths & lengths, excel at dancing, have a natural affinity with animals.  Being 8 years old doesn't define him, but it is biologically something that he IS.

So I guess I kinda feel the same about Autism.  It is something he IS.  He IS autistic. ( I hate the term Autistic Spectrum Disorder - I freely admit I do find that offensive).  But he is autistic.  I don't feel he 'has' autism. To me that sounds like a disease, an illness or an apology. None of which I want to give. For me, to say he 'has' autism, implies he 'got' it from somewhere. That he has acquired it, through environmental factors.  He hasn't.  It is emphatically my opinion that you do not acquire autism.  There are a great many things that 'look' like or present similarly to autism (Attachment Disorder for one..., PTSD, Anxiety Disorders to name a few others) that can be acquired environmentally.  Over production of cortisol in the brain due to early childhood trauma can result in the brain being re-wired disfunctionally.  But none of these things are autism.  Autism, quite simply, is always there. It is a neurological state of being.  It IS. And I can't reconcile this with the concept of 'has'. To me he didn't 'get' autism any more that he 'got' boyhood or 'got' 8 years old.  These are biologically determined things that he IS.  Do you see what I mean?

But just because he IS something, does absolutely, catergorically NOT mean he is defined by that thing.  Nope. No Way.  He is as free as a bird. Freer than many NTs I know.  He is what he is and he is free to choose what he wants to be and the direction he wants his life to go.

So, for me, he IS autistic. And so very, very much more 😍💙

What We Do All Day

Argh!  So DH has done that classic move of arriving home (late) from work and super hyping the kids up.......... So while he calms that storm, and tries to get it ready for pre-bed quiet time, I have scuttled off to Blog in peace ;-)  Well, relative peace (I can still hear the shouting!)

I wanted to do another post about What We Do All Day. For several reasons - namely that we are constantly asked lol!

When we first started HEing we were very structured in what we did.  DD especially struggled with the transition, and although both kids had WANTED to come out of school, they also needed time and familiarity to adjust.  We didn't formally unschool - although we did exit the system a few weeks before the summer holidays - so we indulged ourselves with a nice long summer.  But when 'back to school' time came (there was no getting away from it, with Back to School ads on the TV every 12 seconds!) (and every shop touting it's school-related wares all summer long) the kids needed the familiarity of routine.

So, back at the beginning, we had Spelling Books, Reading Diaries and lots and lots and lots of planned, structured learning (thanks mostly to http://www.twinkl.co.uk/ - who were definitely our mainstay that first year). 

But over time we have moved away from the whole 'lesson' feeling.  I won't lie, DD's spelling has slipped back a bit - purely because she doesn't do the sheer volume of written work she once did. But a gentle reminder and she's back on course.

And as for reading - well, since Christmas she has read 11 Goosebumps books, Harry Potter & The Philosophers Stone, Series 1 (8 books) of My Sister is a Vampire, The Railway Children and is about to start of The Box of Delights :-)

For DS spelling is more of an issue.  As is writing, as is reading.
The curse of Phonics (don't even get me started!) has left a horrible legacy in him and he is still struggling to separate his sounds 'ai' 'ea' etc from actual spellings.  We used to do all sorts of practicing and spellings and he became more and more stressed and resistant, so we stopped.  We also stopped with the Reading Diary.  And I stepped back to allow him the space the find his confidence again.  And he has.  His Beano subscription has brought him on wonders, it really has. He so looks forward to it being delivered every week and he really ENJOYS reading it.  And that brings me joy, that he ENJOYS reading again - rather than feeling stressed and compared and made fun of.  This afternoon he picked up a chapter book, fluently read the back to me and said "Hey why don't we get this one, it sounds good!"  Well, of course I played it casual and was all "oh yeah, ok I guess, sure why not" when inside I was cartwheeling over the late returns!!

And when he wants to, he can write really beautifully now.  There's no doubt it's below age expectation, it's definitely below what DD can currently produce, but he this was still the case when he was IN school.  It's slow.  It takes ALOT of concentration. It takes ALOT of coordination. It is quite fatiguing for him.  It's also not in cursive.  You know what, I couldn't give a fig ;-)  Wait for the next change in Education Secretary and I bet THEY won't be writing in cursive any more either lol.  But he can do it when he needs to. For example, when he decided to write this book recently -

So I'm happy with what we do and how we do it with regards to reading, spelling and writing.

For maths we tend to use Workbooks. This is because maths is NOT my forte! Thankfully it is DH's and it is the kids!  They have also started having maths lessons with a fellow HE Mum once a month to boost their maths skills.

For science we use workbooks, You Tube, trips, workshops and STEM activities such as the Dyson foundation STEM challenge cards (Download them for FREE here - http://www.jamesdysonfoundation.co.uk/).

We also do Listening Time several times a week (most days we are at home basically).  This involves the kids brining quiet activities to the lounge - Lego, drawing etc - which they can play with while I read from non-fiction texts.  We then discuss what we've read - sometimes we do a write up or an activity like a mindmap of The Battle of the Somme or a write of whether they would rather be a child now or in Tudor times, from what we've read.  Other times they draw pictures, or we try food or recipes from something we've read - a religious festival for example.

Other ways we learn are at a couple of groups we have set up.  We run a monthly Geography Club for HE families in our area. We choose a country of the month, from the suggestions box, and the children research and prepare something to share on that theme. They can do a Show & Tell or add their work to the sharing table for others to view.  Afterwards we provide related crafts, activities and food tasting all linked to the country we are studying and the children are free to participate in as much or as little as they wish.  We have about 15-20 children a month, with parents, and it's a really positive experience for the children as they get to hear each others ideas and interests, and they are very encouraging of one another.  Ages range from 5-15.

We also host a Learning Group once a month in our home. This is basically a Co-Ed we've set up with 3 other families.  The Mums take it in turn to 'teach' a session - the kids have scrapbooks and get actively involved in their learning -

So far we have done Rainforests, Tessellation Art, Christmas Activities & Birds.  Next month DS is going to be leading the session - on his beloved Carnivorous Plants!  We do an hour's learning session, followed by half an hours calm play while us Mums have a cuppa.  It's a really lovely format and is working well.  Again, there is a wide age range - 5-10 years of age, 6 children in total - and it's lovely watching their friendships blossom and them looking out for each other, supporting and encouraging each others contributions.

Apart from this we attend a weekly HE gymnastics class, and fortnightly Multi-Sports Club in the warmer months where the kids have learnt Basketball, Rounders & Archery to name but a few!

DD has a monthly recorder lesson. They both used to, but only DD wanted to continue.  They also both tried guitar lessons but, although their teacher was superb, it was too complex for them so they decided not to continue.

DD is also about to start monthly art lessons with a tutor, and they'll both hopefully be working towards the next level of Arts Award this year, having completed their Discover level last year.

We also leave LOTS and LOTS of Lovely SPACE. Space for the kids to think, to explore, to create, to be.  It is more than a year since I have heard the words "I'm bored".  We do occasionally get "I don't know what to do" - when I will offer suggestions, or they will turn to The What Next Box.  But they are never bored any more - because the world is their oyster.

We don't watch TV during the day. It stays off until 4pm when they are allowed an hour before dinner, that's all, none after.  They have no electronics, at all.  We have a family computer, and I have a Kindle etc which we sometimes use together for research etc.  And they do programming with DH on Scratch.

Other than this we play, see friends, play games, go to parks, walk, talk, read, hang out, BE.  We visit places of interest. We go on trips and workshops with other HEers. We see our friends. We live our lives :-)

So I hope this helps answer the question of what we do all day :-)  And I hope it shows how achievable and sustainable it is.  Jump in, give it a try ;-) xxxx

Why I Don't Think My Children Were Vaccine-Injured

This morning I have definitely got my Ranty-pants on, so I have decided it's time for This post.

I am a Mum.  I am an Autism Mum.  I am a Warrior Mum.

I am not a subscriber of Vaccine Injury theory in the specific context of autism.

Let me clarify.

I believe everyone has the right to their own opinion with regards as to whether or not they vaccinate their child/ children.  I believe that vaccines will undoubtedly have a percentage of cases where they fail, and where side effects may sadly be catastrophic.  This is the case with all medicines.  We are all playing a game of chance, and my heart breaks for those whose loved ones are harmed by side effects. Truly.

However, I do not believe vaccines categorically cause autism. 

I don't believe there is an autism epidemic. 

It is not a disease. 

It doesn't spread.

It isn't 'caused'. 

It is not environmental (although there are many similar 'looking' things that can be). 

It is neurological. 

And it is as genetic as the colour of your hair.

What upsets me - is some anti-vacciners and their scare mongering. 

By all means raise awareness. By all means share your personal view.  But don't tout it as proven scientific fact. And don't vilify autism families with it.  Please.  Just don't.

For me it has been a long and arduous journey to get my High Functioning (shudder - HATE that term!) children diagnosed with Autism.  I KNOW there is so much more to the story - there are a number of other elements and conditions in their mix, as well as Autism itself being an almost unquanterfiably large spectrum.  I also know the diagnostic tool in this country is sadly lacking - it is reliant on human opinion, which is inherently flawed.  I have had 2 very different experiences of the ADOS experience - one was heavily led and prompted, which I feel obviously had an impact on the result as a child with high functioning ASD is going to respond better in an environment where they receive prompting than if they don't (pretty much my whole life is spent prompting! That's kinda the point, y'know?  Without prompting they wouldn't get it, ever....)

Anyway, I digress.  The point is, it's a long hard battle.  You face ignorance, disbelief and discrimination.  It is frustrating, desperate and, at times, very, very lonely.

What we don't need is blame.  What we don't need is fear surrounding our children.  What we don't need is naïve, well-meaning parents telling us "we're so thankful our child didn't turn out like yours. That's why we didn't vaccinate."

Ouch!

Double ouch!

You get the idea, yes?  And people DO say this to us, all the time. In very real and unsolicited ways.  And it's not ok. 

By all means have your opinion. By all means share it, sensitively.  By all means research and find actual facts to support what you believe (very few people actually do.  Mostly their research consists of someone's Facebook page or someone they follow on Twitter.... so it must be true, sigh!)

But don't approach me and ask what I think CAUSED my children's autism.  Or if you do, know you may potentially be met with the counter question of what do YOU think caused YOUR a) stupidity b) ignorance c) rudeness d) lack of boundaries e) all of the above  (delete as appropriate).

And PLEASE do not assume that because my child is autistic that I want to hear your views about vaccination.  I don't.   I would love to hear what your child likes to do, your favourite places to go, what music you like or what you have been watching on TV.  I would even be happy to talk about the weather, queues or anything else terminally English.  We can even talk politics and religion! But I do not want to discuss the intricacies of my child's neurological pathways with you as small talk.  It isn't small talk. It's Great BIG talk.  And I reserve it for discussion with fellow Warrior Mums (and Dads) and the autism community.  Because, honestly, they are the ones that are going to understand.


So, if you are outside that community, by all means get involved. Further your knowledge. Join hands to raise awareness (or maybe just stand near us but without touching because, y'know, autism..), but don't stand in judgement and tell us what you think we did wrong.  You haven't walked in our shoes. You really, Really don't know.  And just because your Mum's friend's, neighbour's, hairdresser 'had an autistic' - you still REALLY don't know.

And it's ok that you don't know.  Just don't come and sit at my table and tell me you do.

The End x

Learning with Friends

So, today has been a GOOD day :-)

We started out putting our Geography Project on Italy together -

ready for our Geography Club next week.  We've done the actual country Italy, Pompeii, Roman soldiers, Venice, the Italian language, food, indigenous carnivorous plants and the Italian Gardens of Verona!  Oh, and of course the Italian flag!

The rest of the day we have spent learning together with other Home Educated friends at our home.

For the first time today we starting out with a Book Group - the three of us and DD's best friend (a fellow 9 yr old girl), her Mum and her brother (aged 7).  It was the girls idea. They were both lucky enough to go to a great Home Ed Book Group at a local library last year, which they both really enjoyed, but both are a little shy and intimidated in big groups so they asked if they could try doing a little something by themselves.  We talked about Harry Potter (namely the illustrated version of The Philosophers Stone), Percy Jackson - DD's bf had written a play version of one section.  DS popped in to join us (yippee!!) and decided he would talk about The Beano - he even read us a couple of stories aloud.  My fellow Mum was astounded at how much his reading had improved since she last heard him read and how he was using tone and emphasis in his reading aloud.  It was SUCH a joy to hear.

I talked about one of my favourite books from when I was a child - A Necklace of Raindrops by Joan Aiken.  (Get it here - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Necklace-Raindrops-Joan-Aiken/ )
It's a really lovely book of short stories that I discovered when I was about DDs age and remains one of my all time favourites, to this day.  I've read them with my own children countless times but it was a treat to share this with others too.

We then took a short wiggle break before my fellow Mum gave DD a recorder lesson, while the other three happily played Lego together.

Another break for DD after her recorder lesson, and then she had a maths lesson, also with fellow Mum - while I played Sleeping Queens with the others.  Absolutely great little game by Gameright.  Colourful, visual, a few plot twists and lots of lovely stealth maths :-)   (Get it here - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gamewright-Sleeping-Queens-Card-Game)

We took a break and all had lunch, and DS even consented to giving a maths lesson a try.  He was hugely reluctant, and even managed to verbalise that he was afraid it would 'feel like school' but he managed 15 minutes before he asked to stop.  His request was respected and he was allowed to go and play.  I am just thrilled he was willing to give it a go.  I'm learning not to force the issue now. Like with his reading, he has shown he will get there on his own when he is ready.

Then in the afternoon it was time for our Learning Group.  We host this monthly at our house, with 3 other Mums and 4 other children (sometimes 5).  The ages of the children range from 5 - 10 and the Mums take it in turns to lead a session.  So far we have done Rainforests, Tessellation Art and Christmas.  This month we were doing Birds -

This included talking about our favourite birds, native birds. Looking at the all different types of birds and aspects of birds life - what they eat, camouflage, birds that are named after their song.  We also put out some food and did out own bird spotting.   The group then tried to make an A -Z of birds (we've started using the A - Z activity regularly for topics - it's a great way to draw together all the learning and groups of children can participate together).  We (almost) managed every letter!

After this the kids all had half an hours play together before home time.  It was beautiful to see them - a 10 year old helping a 2 year old do Lego, a 7 year old chatting to a parent about his inventions, an 8 year old explaining to a 5 year old (with diagrams) how to build things in Minecraft and two 9 year old girls playing Harry Potter trivia together.   And 4 Mums enjoying a hot cup of tea and a peaceful chat :-) 

I am SO pleased we took a chance on setting up this group and that we have such an awesome group of hands on Mums, and children, really bonding and learning together. They all contribute to the lesson with their ideas and encourage each other in their endeavors. It's such a positive, patient little group, it's really lifted my spirits today to see how much they achieved together and how pleased they were to all be together again after the Christmas break and how much they're all looking forward to the next session already. 

Good Days Bad Nights & Everything Inbetween

We're really enjoying a peaceful At Home week this week.  Yesterday we had a fairly late start, after a very unsettled night.  I don't know if my fellow ASD parents out there find this, but whenever we have a Good Day (and Monday was an exceptionally Good Day) it is inevitably followed by a Bad Night......  The pervasive thoughts attack, the worries bubble overwhelmingly and it all comes crashing down around them. The Happy, the Good, the Positive are as hard for our little warriors to manage as the woes of this world.  So we had a night of bedwetting, terrifying nightmares, night wandering, much crying and more. 

So Tuesday was a late start. But Mummy had in mind that we would go to the local lake for a nature walk and by George we were going to do it! Lol.  The kids were reluctant but the promise of a bag of chips to eat on the way was enough to persuade them into their wellies and out the door.

It wasn't Mummy's finest plan because eating a bag of chips while walking along requires a neurotypical amount of coordination!!  So by the time we arrived, things were fraught to say the least and a particularly 'keen' swan eyeing our bread (well cereal actually as you're not meant to give bread, are you?) was enough to push DD over the edge into a chaotic, frenzied, silent tantrum.  She doesn't have meltdowns as such (like DS does) because she has ZERO emotional language - at all. Infact, she doesn't recognize emotion or feelings, pretty much AT ALL. So if she feels - anything - she will pretty much spiral quite alarmingly quickly into a frenzy.  She cannot distinguish feelings in herself, identify or name them. So she reacts as a pre or non-verbal child would - with her body, and her reactions.  So this is what she did....   It was, sadly, the worst thing she could've done in the situation IF indeed it was the swan she was scared of - as she ended up covering herself in a scattering of cereal in her frenzy which only served to make her even more of an attractive prospect to both swan AND seagulls!!!

But we cleaned her off, moved her out of harms way and carried on with our walk - because, well, what else can you do? 

I gave her my camera, to occupy her hands (and mind) for a while and she managed to get some nice pictures of the birds -

Then, on our walk back home we were rewarded for our perseverance with a Kingfisher!  We all love birds, so we were beyond excited about this (Mummy especially as she has always wanted to see one!)  It was truly majestic and he generously dove for us 3 times before disappearing off to his hole.  I was clearly not the only one moved by this, as DD drew me this when we got home -

She continued to have rather a chaotic day - lots of crawling and antagonistic behavior but all sort of low level disruption.  Lots of silent 'look at me' behavior - general abated by a bit of tickling, a roll around or some sensory intervention.  Thank Heavens for this wall DH built over the summer holidays -

Yes, it is effectively a climbing wall up our stairs.  We originally installed it with DS in mind, as he struggles (due to Hypermobility) get up and downstairs - to the extent he had managed to pull the embedded handrail OUT of the Wall due to over exertion!  We went to the Help Shop etc but all the solutions were so 'disabled' :-(  And he felt very sad and self conscious.  So we thought of hand holds, so he could pull himself along but not feel embarrassed - as it made it more like 'play'.  This evolved in to the climbing wall - and thank goodness it did as DD must go up and down that thing 10-20 times a day! It has HUGELY improved her behavior, her chaotic-ness and given her valuably sensory stimulus she desperately needs.

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And today is a different kettle of fish.  DD is more settled, despite another Bad Night, but DS has a VERY Busy Brain today - so everything feels quite exhausting.  Lots and lots of repeating single task instructions (over and over and over 😉) and not able to settle at anything for long (read that to mean AT ALL lol!)

So despite our visual prompt aids, and Mummy being constantly on hand to manage everything, it has still taken until 11am for him to have his breakfast today!!  In the meantime, we did manage to classify some of his rock collection (using an Usbourne set of cards he got for Christmas) -

But don't be fooled - this activity took over an hour and involved an unquantifiable amount of getting up and down from the chair/ table, rolling around the floor, throwing himself in to the door frame, clucking, yelping and jumping up and down. Because, y'know, that's how we roll - literally 😆😆

Meanwhile, DS was working on things for our Italian project.  So she was trying her hand at speaking some Italian and getting various phrases translated on Google.  She made a little crib sheet of words, the actual translation and a pronunciation guide.  And we all (DS included!) had a go at speaking some Italian!

DD suggested we do something on the ancient Roman Gods as part of the project - so we dug out some of the resources we had left from when we studied Romans last year.  Luckily we still had some fab stuff from Twinkl (http://www.twinkl.co.uk/) so she did this fun Roman Numerals Colour by Numbers.  I made her a list of the Roman Numerals (as, annoyingly, it didn't come with one!) and she enjoyed figuring out the key.

Throughout these, I tried repeatedly to either engage DS in contributing to our Italy project, or suggesting he go and play if he was finding it too difficult.  He obviously is as he has asked me repeatedly for his DS today, or to watch TV, neither of which I allow (as a general rule) during 'school' hours.  He has settled now to playing Lego on my bed as I type this 😀😀

Anyway, he couldn't decide what he wanted to do with regards to Italy. Myself and DD made numerous suggestions but they were all not quite right.......  The only thing he want to think about, learn about, talk about was Carnivorous Plants (this is his current obsession!) But, whaddaya know, we managed to find some species, indigenous to Italy!!  Hurrah -

Whoop whoop!!  So we will be adding that to our finished project 💞

We read a few chapters of our Goosebumps book after lunch, and DS read me some of his Beanos!  He LOVES his Beanos - we bought him a subscription as this boy WILL NOT read Anything (except Minecraft books!) but turns out he LOVES a Beano - and the artistry is so brilliant and vivid that he 'gets' a lot of the jokes - which is just, sigh, amazing!

And now it's 'break' time (after lunch Mummy normally has some time that is hers and they are free to pursue their own - non-electronic! - interests 😊).  DD is, of course, Harry Potter colouring - whilst simultaneously trying to dress as a cross between Luna Lovegood and Viktor Krum!  And DS is at my feet playing Lego and tick, tick, ticking away peacefully.  Love them 💘💘