I fully intended to do the usual New Years Resolutions post, then that turned into a positive affirmations kind of a post, then my laptop temporarily comatosed itself!
I took the hint, and shelved those posts 😄
Meanwhile, 2018 waits for no man, woman or rebellious PC!
So here we are, almost 2 weeks in. How's it going so far?
Personally speaking I'm sorry to say that thus far it has been an absolute shower of ......... I can't say rainbows. I almost wanna say lemonade - sticky, sour & stings your eyes!
I had fun plans for New Year's Eve - a party at a friends house with a number of very good friends & their kids and neighbours. Sadly, Life (grrrrrr!) had other plans and a post-op infection meant I ended up seeing the old year out (Ta-ra!) and the new year in, home alone. Never before in all my years have I done that. Even when I had a bottom wisdom tooth out one New Years Eve, when I was about 18, I went out to the pub anyway, numb face & drooling!! Lol x
But it was good I think for me to do that. A time of reflection, the last of all the firsts. Done. Ticked off, survived. Onwards & upwards........
But Life (grrrr again) seems to have had other plans.....
Since the start of 2018 there has been the usual January-ness. Listless post-Christmas kids, tired, emotional meltdowns, too many things costing money, longing for sunshine, warmth & not feeling you have to fight through every day..
And then all the other stuff. The pets have both needed expensive stuff, straight into the new year with over a hundred pounds just on essentials for them.... This on the same day my laptop decided to die an unceremonious death. Return to carpark to find someone has gifted me the present of driving into my car & driving off. No CCTV, no witnesses...... Grrrrrrrr.
So, that was Monday.
The rest of the week hasn't fared much better. Hugely difficult week for the kids - sensory-wise this grey oppressive weather is just awful for them. We had some other unpleasantness to deal with, personally speaking, which led me to uncharacteristically burst into tears on an almost stranger at the kids horse riding lesson! Not only was this rubbish, but I was shock & mortified at myself for doing it. But I'll be honest, it is hard to go against the grain and to stand your ground against an outpouring of judgement & hate that frankly you've done nothing to warrant. And in that moment, one little last straw send me over and the tears just came. Thankfully, she could not have been kinder about it & I think we now have a new friend 😊😊😊 Infact we are going ice skating next week!
Then Thursday, and another act of kindness from a friend who reached out to us & arranged an inclusive activity for my daughter, who was also feeling very sad about the unpleasantness. So we had a fun morning at a book group with lots of friends. Feeling buoyed by this happy experience, I forgot for a moment that Life was still on my tail, but it reminded me by sending a crazy wood pigeon to fly unavoidably into the windscreen of my car as I was driving to my daughter's gymnastics session! I am an animal lover & not a happy driver. This was not a happy experience, particularly then to control the car, continue safely with 2 very upset children and a cracked windscreen on to our destination, complete the gym class, get us safely home. Where I could make a nice cup of tea in the new kettle that I had to buy to replace the old one that exploded earlier this week.
And the TV still doesn't work, I need to change broadband providers because that cost me three figures last month due to ANOTHER provider issue! Oh and the tumble dryer is not working intermittently. And there's a crack in the front step and the outside of the house needs painting.
Adulting is hard! Fact.
In the meantime, I have had to make about a million phone calls this week. Change solicitors because I simply refuse to wait any longer than the current 6 1/2 weeks for a man who charges 3 figures plus VAT an hour to return my calls & Emails!
Oh and sort out a mountain of other paperwork & life things, you know how it is. And squeeze in Home Educating two autistic children at the same time.
And the personal icing on the cake for me was that I have gained 2lbs this week. Despite having re-started my exercise regime. And I feel bloated as a beach ball and just generally a bit rubbish! I know I will have lost it again by next week, that's just the way my body is, but right now just 😡
And now it is Friday. Thank flippety gibbert it is!
And it's a Dad weekend this weekend. So that means all the pets need to be done, beds changed & kids rooms tidied and them packed ready to go by tea time.
So, all things considered it's been something of a mixed bag so far!
On the plus side, because there is always a plus side, always, there have been good friends & kindnesses peppered along the way too 💗 Sometimes, I won't lie, it does seem that life is relentlessly determined to bring me to my knees. I am relentlessly determined not to let it.
Thankfully the universe sends me little reminders along the way that actually I can do this, it is on my side, there are people that do see me, we are not on our own. And I'm so grateful for this because, try as I might, I'm not actually that brave and I'm not actually that strong. I am just here, being me, and doing the best I can.
And right now 2018, what I could really do with is few days off for good behavior, a cuddle & maybe a cup of tea....... Oh well, 1 out of 3 isn't bad I suppose 😉
